Tag Archives: writing

HE GOT LEGS

 

Riddle me this batman. What do we make of a guy who won’t answer simple questions?

His picture shows only his legs.
The angle of sitting on a couch with your feet up on an ottoman while wearing shorts. (nice legs by the way)
Starts off by commenting on one of my pics and asks, “ so do you get romantic too? Caught me in a playful mood, so I said “ I can be”

He says “let’s go for a test drive, Darling”

In my head I am picturing a rugged, sexy guy, dark hair, 6’2” with a slight drawl, maybe a tilted cowboy hat, who actually leaves off the G in darling, because darlin’ sounds so much better. I snap out of my fantasy thinking and said “Not without more information.”

rugged

See? that works.

His profile has very, very minimal information. As in “I am a good guy and I have a great sense of humor.” That, my dear man, is not enough for me.

Now we move on to ‘Babe’. He says, “Well babe, I’m an IT guy with a great sense of humor”
I mention “all I see are legs”, legs  and he comes back with “and you can see it all.” BE still my heart.

He then offers his email address and says, “I will send you a pic”
RED FLAG alert. Not like there weren’t 12 before this one.

I sort of had enough BS at this point, so I asked why he wasn’t posting a pic on the site. “Married?”, I asked him.
Comes back with an “LOL no divorced. Want to get together?”

I reiterate my original thoughts. “ My original question remains. Why the mystery? I need more than a pair of legs to go on.”

Are you wondering why I am still encouraging this? Me too.

So, in his brilliance he comes back with, “LOL understand darling. Here is my email and I can send you a picture back babe.”
This is serious now. Darling and babe in the same message.

My reply, “ well BABE, you still haven’t answered anything I asked and I am not switching to email”

“I’m just going to email you a pic…darling . We will still text on the site so let me know when you are ready. You will enjoy yourself.” ( I guess he figures this Babe can’t figure out that no matter what is sent, he will still have my email)

No I did not respond. No I am not going to. A simple, hey I have a high profile job in DC and cannot post pictures, or my boss is also on dating sites and I don’t want her to see my pictures, may have extended the chat. The annoying BS of never answering my direct questions and repeating the same lines did not work for me. I bet they weren’t even his legs.

Adjectives, Adverbs and Other Excuses

 

It seems months ago I made an excuse about falling off the grid. Not that I didn’t fall off. I did. In fact, I jumped. I used all sorts of words to describe my state of being. Frustrated. Depressed. Annoyed. Fed up. Aloofness.
But I remained that way for a long while. I would think to myself, I should sit down and write. Or maybe even go online. But I wouldn’t or couldn’t. I asked myself why? I asked myself why I didn’t care? No one answered. Just kept not caring.

Sure, I didn’t realize at the time I was not caring . It wasn’t hard to do. Just simply stop doing a few things. Mostly dating, and writing, and basic productivity. Oh, I went through my daily life enjoying it, just not about the 3 things I just mentioned. Worked, played, friends, family. Traveled some and shopped too. But the above mentioned stuff, no thanks. I wanted no part of it. I knew I needed a break, but kept thinking, oh it will pass. I’ll write tomorrow. Or the next day. Or maybe in 9 months. Turns out, as we can all see, I didn’t do it at all.
When it came to dating or attempting to date, I decided I was done. Didn’t even go online to check sites, or views or messages. I even got some automated messages from varying sites telling me my profile was going to disappear if I didn’t click or swipe ASAP. Didnt intimidate me. I ignored it.

One day I sat down to discuss with my therapist about me not caring. I explained it wasn’t my life or my family I didn’t care about, it was something I couldn’t put my finger on. After a brief discussion, when he asked if I was dating, I realized, well no, I am not, nor am I trying to or worrying about it in any capacity. I then used the word apathetic. Like a ton of bricks, it hit me that I was apathetic. (This is where the therapist smiles because you figured it out yourself.) DICTIONARY.COM tells us it is “showing or feeling no interest, enthusiasm, or concern.” Didn’t that encompass it all! I realized it was consuming me. Apathy everywhere. I wasn’t even using exclamation points when I messaged or commented. Happy birthday to someone was a simple statement. No enthusiasm for their special day. Just 2 words with no extras.

In the discussion with Dr. P, I  wondered if the medication I had started about a year ago could be affecting me. I told him also that I had mentioned to my PCP (primary care physician, in case acronyms are not your thing.) I really didn’t give a shit about a lot of things. I ignored that too. It was a calming medication. So calm, I didn’t care much. It took me a while to think, “I wonder if this medication is messing with me?” It was. I told my PCP that I thought I should stop taking it. She told me it can also cause weight gain, which I had complained about as well. Of course, she had to throw in the age factor and metabolism and the fact it gets harder every decade to lose any weight unless one starves oneself. But that’s another story in itself. That alone  gave me the incentive to stop taking it. So I did. Took a few weeks since one has to ease off. The thing is, it kept me from getting agitated and stressed about things. But I decided to want to feel and care so there was my choice. The good news is the therapy is supposed to help me with the agitation and stress and hopefully I will not go back to the meds. I am an emotional being and I do not like ‘not feeling.’ I also don’t like snapping at people and stressing over insignificant things or things I cannot change, but time will tell.
I am back to writing. I went on a dating site or two again, and began moving forward.
Of course one of the first messages I received when I did go back on, was that I left an apostrophe off the word “cant” in my profile. I thought of my therapist sitting on my shoulder and DID NOT write back “ I guess you don’t get many dates with that opening line?” What I did write was, “ well you missed the word “lets” because I left the apostrophe off of that one too.
OK, OK so I have lots of work ahead of me.

It Just looked Like I left

 

I’m here.  I am back. But in reality, I never left. I just haven’t written. Haven’t felt it.  Haven’t prowled the dating sites. I have read other blogs, been on twitter. All kept to a minimum. Haven’t responded to likes or messages, but will say I am a teeny bit glad I still have views and likes. Sometimes, life seems to move forward, and we stay still.  Sometimes, you need to do just that.

nodating

I have been somewhat inactive in the dating world. And full disclosure, not that it is directly related, in the exercise world too. That I am paying for, trying to get back on track.  Though, when you think about it, It could be related. Exercise is good for the body and soul. Makes me more energized , but I still have to force myself to do it.  I did find out one can get tennis elbow in both elbows at the same time, and never have played tennis at all. EVER. Which brings me to the lack of exercise. Needed to rest both elbows. They are rested and ready to tackle the evil elliptical again. But I digress.

exercise

My elbows have nothing to do with lack of motivation on dating sites.

Dating, even the idea of dating, got stale. As you get older, the choices change, but the stupid messages do not.

I did hear from two guys I had dated before.  Communication is good, but distance has put a damper on things.  I’m not dead.  Just took a hiatus from the rat race of dating sites. I feel a fresh look would be best. Scroll through the photos, and you see so many familiar faces you have seen before. Then I realized the men are probably saying the same thing.

Plain and simple, I get bored. Maybe it is an age thing. Maybe being single for so long, I’m just done and will wait for Prince Charming to fall into my lap. Though by then,  Prince Charming will be using a walker and will be on social security. Bottom line,  I am very content as is. Though that could be translated by some as being in a rut. Who knows the answer?  We do get complacent. Life moves forward,  things are good, so why upset the apple cart?

princech

Time will tell. Maybe when other things are back on track, I will get a new attitude and/or outlook.

Don’t worry, you will be hearing from me, whether it is to bitch about dating or other things I can find to bitch, I mean write, about. Like that is a problem.

 

A New Attitude

I have an attitude. This is not new for me. I always have an attitude. Sometimes it is a good attitude, positive, and optimistic. Sometimes, it is quite the opposite. Dare I say negative and pessimistic? It’s true. Lately I can’t help it and don’t want to try to turn it around. I feel like a petulant teenager that walks around with an attitude. Oh, well, I was one at some point. My mother used to use some Yiddish expression to tell me I was in a mood. Didn’t matter what language was used, I knew that!

But now at least I can admit that. When I was a teen, you could not tell me I had attitude, because it would make it worse. Actually the same thing happens now. I hate when people say CALM DOWN. I know I need to calm down but it doesn’t happen by snapping your fingers. Now I send myself to my room. Or to my cabinet to get a wine glass.

Not that I would not turn it if I could, but I realized I can’t. Not now.  Not for the lack of trying. But sometimes it lingers and sticks to your skin, and is really hard to shake off.

badatt

I have not blogged much recently, mainly because of my attitude not being in the positive column. Part of it is from the dating experience, and part is just life being difficult. I could whine about all that is happening in my life, and probably will in a moment. And yes, it is all relative. Things that will turn around and get better, I am just not sure when. Nothing catastrophic, though at the time it seems that it is.

Let’s start with my house. I have a townhouse that has water damage. Let me put it simply. 8 months fighting with my insurance company, delay in starting work because of that. Need siding replaced and deck replaced and inside damage as well.  This began in July. Now it is March and the 12 inches of snow has finally melted away from my backyard, so MAYBE the outside work can begin.  It has been 6 weeks waiting for my new glass door to come in so it can be installed. We seem to have the domino effect working for us. Cant do this, because of A. Can’t get B and C done until A is squared away. My patience is gone. Being from NY I want things done yesterday. I don’t wait well. So 8 months has been brutal for me. Had to move out of my house for 5 weeks so the floors and drywall could get done. I am back home and hopefully things can progress. Whew, I feel better already. The people at work have been great listening to me bitch and moan for 8 months, They are probably equally ready for my house to be done too.

badatt1

Then we have the dating scene. Or lack thereof. Men can tell when you have an attitude. I can tell when I have attitude and no one seems right to me. To add to my distress, I have received no less than 20 fake user emails on OKC in the last 2 weeks. The writing is similar and then the accounts are deleted. And of course, this is not new. I have written previous posts with examples of BS flowing on the page. But they keep coming.

Just a few examples:

1.

HIM-“i live in New york and i am looking for someone who will love and care about me for a long time”

ME- sorry not what i asked. ( I had asked what he does for a living)

HIM- but now i have come to new york now dear

he says again I live in NY and wants someone to love for a long time.

but I can’t help read it as, “I love you long time” .  Either way, I responded with that isn’t what I asked, because I knew I wasn’t going to continue chatting. His answer -“now I have come to NY DEAR.” (UGH)

2.Italian but based in USA. I deal on antiques which takes me to places cos it’s a mobile job. I am a potential optimist and love to make findings and knowing new things.

3.well am new here and not sure will get on here often but I wish to have a sincere friendship and keep my new good friends in touch forever that is why I want us to get in touch by exchanging dial digits.

4.You know I was going through when I got charmed by the pretty looks in your eyes and i thought it’s wise to say hi.

You have a lovely smile on your face, that really attracted me the most and I nearly lost my breath looking deep into your eyes. I like your hair style a lot and i am just sitting here wondering what a beautiful angel like you is doing on here. Anyway we are looking and it will be my pleasure to start a conversation with a beautiful lady like you. I don’t know much about you. I will be glad to get to know each other.

appreciate and admire your intensity hope to hear from you soon Thank you very much for taking you to read

5.How are you doing on this blissful day!!…I was surfing on here and got the glimpse of your meaningful profile and with your beautiful pic caught my attention to read more.. I would like to know more about you and see where this could lead us both to…..Any way I know I is not the correct thing to give out my email but any way we can still try it out XXXXXX79@gmail.com shear more later if you like

6.Your profile really caught my interest and I have been looking and would like to know more things about you. It never hurts to try something new although it’s a just a day to the end of my subscription on this website..

How can I help but have attitude? I think I need to get in a new and improved frame of mind for anything to change. The house is moving along slowly, but moving along.  I’ll get over this hurdle and move on to the next. See. Attitude changing already.

Uh, What Did You Say?

I would like to revisit the subject of some of the more absurd messages I have received , and, of course, I still am receiving. I can say with certainty, they will never run out. Somehow they keep popping up, and somehow, they find me. I can summarize the laughable parts, but I think it will be best if I comment as I go. And I left their wonderful phrasing and grammar for all to enjoy.

#1. Hello there

Your profile is very intriguing and I like what you have to say. It would be pleasant to learn more about you .You look attractive and write well, seem articulate, sensitive and worth more than a second look! (so honored) I decided to join for a few months to see what this site was like. I like what you wrote in your profile and thought I would reach out to see if we might be compatible. Let me know if you would like to communicate more. .Will be Hoping to hear from you. mind if we chat on yahoo im (yes I do)

 

#2. Hello. Would you consider getting acquainted and becoming real friends?(What exactly does that mean?) Do you have too many already? (Who asks this?) Let’s explore a friendship…I’m not into drama or pain. (why throw in pain? Maybe drama and games? but pain?) I do not want your money or your identity. I am not after a one-nighter, I am American not Nigerian. Cybersex is so 1995. (No words for this one!)

#3. I am searching for a long-term friendship, even if it is online only. I love road trips! ( not sure what an online friendship and road trips have in common) Oh, and feel free to IM me here anytime. (I didn’t)

#4. Hi, how are you doing? is a great privilege for me to meet someone like you here. Am so much happy i find a woman like you with the same thing in common with me. If won’t mind i will love to know some pretty things about you. ( oh gee sorry. I usually just display my ugly things) Am William…… Hope to hear from you soon. Take care and God bless…. (didn’t change any of his eloquent writing. it is all him)

#5. I am a honest God fearing man. This is my private Email:(XXXXXusall@gmail.com) / phone: 832-713-XXXX. Thank you i will be expecting your reply. God bless you ( I didn’t reply. Then # 2 message shows up.)

have not been on the site for some months but just visited few weeks ago i am rarely here.. too bad i missed you today was so anxious to read from you..832-713-XXXX. text me i will really appreciate xoxo ( I didn’t)

#6. can I come over and cuddle? (to the point. I didn’t answer so he sent a second cuddle request. I finally responded and said no you may not. then he asked “why not?” (opened that can of worms by responding. so I said because I don’t allow someone I never met to come here at all. Again, “why not?” I gave up. to clarify, gave up answering, I  DID NOT let him come over!)

#7. Hello how you doing..I am a single dad..You can call me Joe am new on here…I find a single woman to love and grow old with..hope to read from you soon ( I didnt call him Joe or anything for that matter.)

#8. Hello dear How was your day i hope it was Good as mine cos i can see that from your awesome pic how old is the pics? (Don’t know what my awesome day has to do with my profile pic, never mind when they were taken!)

#9. People call me the Bry man; I’m the stylish one of the group. I know what you’re asking yourself, and the answer is yes. I have a nickname for my penis. It’s called the Octagon, but I also nicknamed my testes – my left one is James Westfall and my right one is Doctor Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right, and you just might get to meet the whole gang. ( I did not ask to meet any of his gang. And yes, he was in his early 30’S. I am truly hoping someone after the age of 40 is not naming his body parts, but I am guessing, our man Bry, surely will be.)

Spicy and Dicey

Enter aspiring author in his mid fifties. Once again, no picture, but did say in his message he would be happy to send one. His message was a little silly and caused some eye rolling, but a bit entertaining.   Said he lives in California but would be traveling here for business, and would I like to have dinner?  I decided to decline after a few more messages, which will not be hard to understand as you continue to read.  Playfully, he gave me a list to check off which sentence described my thoughts. For example:

1. do I have so many guys messaging me that i cant possibly respond

2. you sound sweet but i am diabetic

3. you sound like a nut and i am allergic.

 

You get the gist. And the eye rolling.

 

He added that he was a writer of short spicy stories and did I want to read one? Hmmmm not really sure about that. The thoughts going through my head were basically, I don’t know you and I don’t want to read spicy anything from someone I don’t know. I don’t even like spicy food!   Ordering a book from Amazon or getting one from the library, where I can read a summary or a book cover to see the subject matter, would be a different story ( no pun intended). I have read my share of spicy, 50 Shades of Grey, for example,  and other assorted spicy morsels.

 

Being a closet writer, after a bit of  deliberation, I decided I would like to see what he had. I sent him my email and he sent me a story.  Starting to read, I realized the character had the same name as I did!  WAIT. He had changed the female character to my name! And yes, a little note,  I made the mistake of ending one of my messages with my first name.  Now, of course, a bit late,  I  double check to make sure I don’t inadvertently sign my name until I decide I want to give my name. He had signed his right away on his messages, which I have noted, many men do without hesitation.  And, yes, of course, the male character had his name!  Well, spicy was an understatement. This was 4 hot chile peppers next to the word spicy!

 

I told him that his writing is good,  but this deserved an “R” rating!  That just fueled the fire. Of course now I received a second story. This one at least 5 hot chile peppers!  I was now getting uncomfortable.  No need to see anymore. And please don’t use my name. EVER.  think spice affects one’s listening skills, because then story # 3  shows up. Normally, curiosity wins out , but this one I deleted and never responded. Happy to say, no more have shown up and I am hoping I don’t hear from him, ever. And yes he also sent me a picture, That didn’t help me want to read the stories either.