Tag Archives: stories

Spicy and Dicey

Enter aspiring author in his mid fifties. Once again, no picture, but did say in his message he would be happy to send one. His message was a little silly and caused some eye rolling, but a bit entertaining.   Said he lives in California but would be traveling here for business, and would I like to have dinner?  I decided to decline after a few more messages, which will not be hard to understand as you continue to read.  Playfully, he gave me a list to check off which sentence described my thoughts. For example:

1. do I have so many guys messaging me that i cant possibly respond

2. you sound sweet but i am diabetic

3. you sound like a nut and i am allergic.

 

You get the gist. And the eye rolling.

 

He added that he was a writer of short spicy stories and did I want to read one? Hmmmm not really sure about that. The thoughts going through my head were basically, I don’t know you and I don’t want to read spicy anything from someone I don’t know. I don’t even like spicy food!   Ordering a book from Amazon or getting one from the library, where I can read a summary or a book cover to see the subject matter, would be a different story ( no pun intended). I have read my share of spicy, 50 Shades of Grey, for example,  and other assorted spicy morsels.

 

Being a closet writer, after a bit of  deliberation, I decided I would like to see what he had. I sent him my email and he sent me a story.  Starting to read, I realized the character had the same name as I did!  WAIT. He had changed the female character to my name! And yes, a little note,  I made the mistake of ending one of my messages with my first name.  Now, of course, a bit late,  I  double check to make sure I don’t inadvertently sign my name until I decide I want to give my name. He had signed his right away on his messages, which I have noted, many men do without hesitation.  And, yes, of course, the male character had his name!  Well, spicy was an understatement. This was 4 hot chile peppers next to the word spicy!

 

I told him that his writing is good,  but this deserved an “R” rating!  That just fueled the fire. Of course now I received a second story. This one at least 5 hot chile peppers!  I was now getting uncomfortable.  No need to see anymore. And please don’t use my name. EVER.  think spice affects one’s listening skills, because then story # 3  shows up. Normally, curiosity wins out , but this one I deleted and never responded. Happy to say, no more have shown up and I am hoping I don’t hear from him, ever. And yes he also sent me a picture, That didn’t help me want to read the stories either.

Can’t Make This Stuff Up

I am amazed sometimes at the audacity of some of these men on the dating sites. Here is this man, from Canada, who is chatting with me.  After a few minutes of chatting, I  finally looked at  his profile. It says he is 46 and  his status is  “living together.” You have a girlfriend? “Well, ”, he says “No actually I am married”. Well ok, that is usually living with someone. Maybe that is why he put ‘wants to date but nothing serious!’   Then he says, oh I am 43. I don’t know why I said 46. I politely tell him probably the same reason you said living together and you are actually married. And instead of worrying about what you should have written, maybe you ought to consider not being on a dating site. He got annoyed with me because I was , as he said, “blasting him.”

 

A very unique man in his mid thirties, sent me a message. I say unique because, first, he states in his profile , he is neither single or looking. Then he writes that he is simply searching  for a woman to please between the ages of 50 and 70.  Oh yes he threw in conversation and laughter, but  keeping it straight, he is just there at your beckon call.

He is looking for a mature woman, and clearly states he knows he makes more money than anyone responding, so it  is clear that he is not looking for a woman of means. In his message to me, he refers to himself as a mere mortal, and how can he even imagine being with a goddess like myself. Well that may just become my new title- goddess of dating. Has a ring to it.

A friend of mine,  also on Plenty of Fish,   went out with an older gentleman to an Itlalian restaurant for  dinner on their first date.  When I asked how the dinner went, she said , I was so busy wondering if his toupee was going to fall into his pasta , that I couldn’t  focus on the food or conversation. After I caught my breath from laughing, she said that though the toupee stayed in place, she watched his teeth moving back and forth when he spoke. I wouldn’t have gotten past the appetizer.

 

Another date  she  went on, told her he was 69, a couple of years older than my friend.  As most of us know , one can easily check online with minimal information on most anyone. Said he was divorced and his wife had died shortly after the divorce. So I decided to look him up. Lo and behold he was 74 and his wife was very much alive and living in Florida.  Never determined why the lies- what was it going to get him? Sympathy?  When one is a teenager , and wants to drink, they lie, and say he or she is 21. When one is approaching 50 , and looks good, maybe shave off a year or two. But at 74, is it not time to stop lying about your age and pretending your wife, or ex-wife is dead? That won’t get you points with anyone.