Don’t get me wrong, there are many men looking for an actual relationship on these sites. Maybe I am not attracting them or maybe I am not attracted to those who are seeking that. That will be a different therapy session I haven’t had yet. There is time for that.
One man who I responded to seemed like a nice enough guy. Yes, I saw his picture and thought he is no Adonis, but, is that the only important thing? I worked on convincing myself that it is not, and I agreed to meet him for coffee. To be fair, we met halfway between our homes, because he lived at least an hour from me. We actually spoke on the phone a couple of times before our actual meeting, and I did hesitate after that experience. He had a very heavy, thick, I almost can’t understand you, southern accent. Not an issue ordinarily, I was married to a Georgia boy. But this was one of those really slow accents, where I wanted to pull the words out of his mouth for him. Keep in mind I am originally from NYC, though I live in Virginia which in my book is still the south. My mouth and brain work faster than he could speak. But yet, again, I decided not to be a snob, and agreed to meet for coffee.
Conversation was fine, even close to interesting at times, but it took so long for him to say a sentence that I wanted to finish it for him even if I had to make up the end of the story to get it done! All the while I am sitting there, not quite 45 minutes, I am feeling his intense stare. It was penetrating my skin. Starting to feel uncomfortable, I decided maybe it was time for me to go. So I said just that, and he walked me to my car. I said thank you, it was nice, and got in and drove away. The rest of the day and night I was agonizing over the fact that I knew I didn’t want to see him again, and the right thing would be to tell him. I could have ignored it, but felt I should nip it in the bud, in case he decided to contact me first. So being the chicken I am, I decided to text him. Easy, no actual contact and quick. I wrote simply , “thank you for the coffee but I didn’t feel there was a connection. I hope you find someone on the site and good luck.” Whew. done. I received a reply, that said, “Thanks for letting me know.” Yea, not so fast Missy.
15 minutes later I received another text from him, saying are “are you sure?” do I answer ? Of course I did. Yes I answered . I am sure.
10 minutes later I receive yet another text. “Even if I caress your cheek?” WHAT? Where did that come from? This time I thought for a second and decided no answer is needed. Did that stop him? Nope. Another text 20 minutes later. I want to kiss and caress you. Not going to happen buddy. Now you just jumped into the CREEP category. No more contact. I guess he didn’t agree because a week or so later, I got another message, this time through the dating site. Maybe I would like to reconsider and go out. Maybe not, I thought. Great to be desired. Now i am looking for his picture on the post office wall.