Tag Archives: older

Be Patient

No secret about older women liking younger men. Celebrities do it all of the time. Well, many women date younger, but we hear about the celebrities. And of course older men with younger women is a given. But hey, why not? For whatever reasons, you are attracted to a certain type. No need to explain. You like younger. Dont worry.

No need to worry about finding that one guy that you want to date. He is out there. Maybe not now , but soon.

Always good to look at the humorous side of things.

age

Ageless Dating

Age is only a number.  I cannot tell you how many times I have  heard that  phrase.  Mostly from younger men, pretty much telling me not to worry about how young they are!

I was talking to a guy on OKC, who decided not to reveal his age . At least not right away.  He said he really didn’t like the age question on the dating sites. Why restrict yourself?  “why do people care?” he asked me.  I replied it was mostly a preference, but I am a curious type and I like to know.

“Why? is it important?” he wanted to know.

“Yes , I think it is. To a point. “  I told him.

He asked, “What if you really like talking to the guy and want to meet.  What if he is 22 and has a great job, and an advanced degree, and is an all around great guy? “  Now I looked at his photos again, to make sure I did not think this one was 22!

I do feel technically it shouldn’t matter, but as nice as he could be , I would not feel comfortable about dating someone younger than all of my own children! I think an age gap is a personal preference. and is limited to what works for the individual.  On the same note, I wouldn’t feel comfortable dating someone my Dad’s age either. I think one sets their own limits to what is their comfort zone.

age

I know plenty of people who marry or date someone with maybe a 15-20 years age difference. Personally, a 35-40 year age difference would bother me. He wouldn’t know ,unless from books or an older aunt or uncle, about anything I have lived through. Even his parents would be younger than i am! that would really upset my comfort zone.

He also asked me if i thought it was a judgment problem. Did I worry that people would judge me? I admitted judgment is a factor to a certain degree, but i think I would  end up judging myself as well. If I know I am not comfortable with it, I just won’t do it.

I went online to see what was out there, and sure enough, there is a site for ageless dating!

http://www.agelessdating.com/

This could open up one’s outlook on not getting caught up the  “age discussion”. Or, more likely, for me, at least, open up that can of worms I  try to avoid.

But, the thing that baffles me , is ,when you go under search, the first box you are supposed to fill out, is AGE!  They want a range. I haven’t done it yet.  But  for research  purposes, I just may have to for my fellow daters. What a trooper!

An Opposite Match

I joined Match a year or two ago, but was never very excited about it. When my membership expired, I didn’t renew it.  I thought, why pay , when I am getting no results and very frustrated about it. After about  8 months, I saw there was yet another special deal to join, so I caved, and re-joined the masses on Match.  It hasn’t changed.

Here is my problem.  As we have discussed in the past, I do like younger men. Not extremely younger , though when they message me, I fight temptation. I am getting more practical in my old age. Usually.

One of the main reasons I am not thrilled with Match.com, is because most of the time I am sent matches that to me, really don’t match at all.  Let me explain. For example,  if I put in 47-63 year old age group, I get matches within that age group. BUT, the age range that the men are seeking , does not in any way match mine.  Is that a half match? It doesn’t make sense to me if I am looking for men in a certain age group and specific ethnic groups, that I am sent men that may meet my specific age requirement, but nothing else at all. These men do not want my age group. They are seeking women decades younger.  So, even if I am willing to get someone near my age, whether it is up or down, most of the time they are seeking women in their 30s and 40s. The men that are viewing me and “liking” me,  are much older than I am. Nothing wrong with that, except my beef is,  they are not matching the criteria I chose. And the ones I am getting for matches, I don’t match the criteria that they chose. I am getting a list of men recommended, that do not want someone my age. Where is my Match there?

older

I am not saying necessarily that it is Match’s fault per se.  They are sending me matches that fit my criteria to a point. I will give them that. But if almost every guy in that group wants someone decades younger, that does not work for me.

Looks like I wont be renewing this again.

You can’t help the likes and dislikes on any of these matches. I state quite clearly in my profile that camping and hiking are not my thing.  Fishing is  pretty close to those activities as well, though fishing I can deal with if I am not getting seasick on a boat. I sound like a barrel of fun, don’t I? And yes, there are many men who clearly state that if you are not interested in outdoor activities, or sailing is not your thing , then don’t contact them. No problem here.  I know the dating sites say they match up likes and dislikes, but again, I am not in complete agreement on that one. I know you can’t get it down to exact specifics, but  coming close would be great. Like all of my matches who clearly want someone much younger, usually want her to be able to hike to the campgrounds with a fishing pole. Have fun.

I am starting to believe that though opposites do attract,  it doesn’t necessarily translate to lasting.

I was married to an opposite. Note the WAS. I am from New York City originally and he is from Georgia.  Him: Raised as a Southern Baptist from Georgia. Me: New York Jewish girl. Not sure you can get more opposite than that.  He was quiet, I was not. He didn’t like to talk in person or on the phone. Me: I can talk to anyone ,anywhere, any time. He was not comfortable in social situations, I thrived on them.

I think some opposites can compliment each other. Others are like oil and  water .

bacon

Dating sites for me seem to match oil and water. I need a ham and cheese or bacon and egg match.

The Fun Begins

Now a few weeks pass by, and I am discouraged with the whole dating thing already. Try Plenty of Fish,  a veteran online dater offered to me. Plenty of Fish i asked? I couldn’t decide if that name was as tacky sounding as I was hearing it, but thought , is it really any worse than some of the others? I decided to research it. This one is a free dating site, so once again i filled out all of the questions, and profiles, added some pictures and voila! i am out there. This site has no age restrictions( there are now age restrictions of a sort which I will discuss in the near future) and now the fun begins. Let me throw in , yet another confession. I am attracted to younger men. Yes, sadly 50 is now considered a younger man given my just over 60 status, but younger is younger.  Doesn’t mean I rule out others, Though, just as a precaution, my daughter gave me a rule- no one near her age or younger. Not to worry i said. You are 35! though really the temptations are out there!

 POF, as we online daters refer to the Plenty of Fish site, has , as i said, all ages. So now I started keeping track. The youngest that I have had contact me is 19. i should say 18, because he was turning 19 in a few months! This boy was in high school. Did his mother know he was on this site, searching for older women ? Mommy issues? Boredom? I didn’t want to ask.  The oldest so far is 82. He was a  very kind, polite gentleman whose message asked if I had an age limit? I never had that question in the older category! It was always in the 18-30 category so I was bit taken aback. I did politely message him back and told him I lean towards my age or younger. He was very polite and didn’t bother me about it.

Again he was not my cup of tea. but as i said, don’t respond if you don’t want to open a can of worms. But he was so polite I felt the need to be polite back. Truly , a man within my age range, will have lots more in common to talk about. Sadly, some of the conversation will turn to which joints are acting up and how much one creaks when getting out of bed in the morning. though,with younger men, you tend to want to hide any creaking parts or ailments that may be presenting themselves that particular week. Though , I do have limitations.  I mean if you don’t know who the Beatles are, or are amazed that i was alive during Woodstock, then maybe we just need not to have a conversation.