Tag Archives: men

An Opposite Match

I joined Match a year or two ago, but was never very excited about it. When my membership expired, I didn’t renew it.  I thought, why pay , when I am getting no results and very frustrated about it. After about  8 months, I saw there was yet another special deal to join, so I caved, and re-joined the masses on Match.  It hasn’t changed.

Here is my problem.  As we have discussed in the past, I do like younger men. Not extremely younger , though when they message me, I fight temptation. I am getting more practical in my old age. Usually.

One of the main reasons I am not thrilled with Match.com, is because most of the time I am sent matches that to me, really don’t match at all.  Let me explain. For example,  if I put in 47-63 year old age group, I get matches within that age group. BUT, the age range that the men are seeking , does not in any way match mine.  Is that a half match? It doesn’t make sense to me if I am looking for men in a certain age group and specific ethnic groups, that I am sent men that may meet my specific age requirement, but nothing else at all. These men do not want my age group. They are seeking women decades younger.  So, even if I am willing to get someone near my age, whether it is up or down, most of the time they are seeking women in their 30s and 40s. The men that are viewing me and “liking” me,  are much older than I am. Nothing wrong with that, except my beef is,  they are not matching the criteria I chose. And the ones I am getting for matches, I don’t match the criteria that they chose. I am getting a list of men recommended, that do not want someone my age. Where is my Match there?

older

I am not saying necessarily that it is Match’s fault per se.  They are sending me matches that fit my criteria to a point. I will give them that. But if almost every guy in that group wants someone decades younger, that does not work for me.

Looks like I wont be renewing this again.

You can’t help the likes and dislikes on any of these matches. I state quite clearly in my profile that camping and hiking are not my thing.  Fishing is  pretty close to those activities as well, though fishing I can deal with if I am not getting seasick on a boat. I sound like a barrel of fun, don’t I? And yes, there are many men who clearly state that if you are not interested in outdoor activities, or sailing is not your thing , then don’t contact them. No problem here.  I know the dating sites say they match up likes and dislikes, but again, I am not in complete agreement on that one. I know you can’t get it down to exact specifics, but  coming close would be great. Like all of my matches who clearly want someone much younger, usually want her to be able to hike to the campgrounds with a fishing pole. Have fun.

I am starting to believe that though opposites do attract,  it doesn’t necessarily translate to lasting.

I was married to an opposite. Note the WAS. I am from New York City originally and he is from Georgia.  Him: Raised as a Southern Baptist from Georgia. Me: New York Jewish girl. Not sure you can get more opposite than that.  He was quiet, I was not. He didn’t like to talk in person or on the phone. Me: I can talk to anyone ,anywhere, any time. He was not comfortable in social situations, I thrived on them.

I think some opposites can compliment each other. Others are like oil and  water .

bacon

Dating sites for me seem to match oil and water. I need a ham and cheese or bacon and egg match.

Are YOU on a Dating Site, Too?

We all know there are thousands of men and women on dating sites. They are found throughout the world , all ages, sizes, ethnic backgrounds and even  by relationship status.  This article discusses a study done by the PEW Research Group on online dating. It talks about online sites, phone apps, and the opinions of those who participate in online dating ,and even those who know someone who has done online dating. online

It did not surprise me that the majority of online daters are those in their 20’s to 40’s. And  equally surprising to me, a much, much lower percentage in the over 50 crowd. Apparently this is an update from a 2005 study. This was published in 2013. Attitudes seem to be more positive about online dating, though  there are still those who feel those who do online dating are desperate. Soon they will do a study on those people and we can write about that.

http://www.pewinternet.org/2013/10/21/online-dating-relationships/

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Check, Please

You are on a first date. A drink, a cup of coffee, or maybe dinner. Do you grab the check? Should he? Should one of you grab it and say ,” lets split it?” Here is a very interesting and somewhat controversial topic when it comes to dating. No , not up there with topics like gay marriage or fracking, but when one is dating, these things come up. I mentioned this in a previous blog post, Dutch Treat. I, personally , like the man to pay. Call me old-fashioned, but I have always experienced that, and I am not afraid to say, I like it. Most men, in my experience, don’t even hesitate to pay for the drink , dinner or coffee on the first meet and greet. And if we see each other a few times, it rarely (see blog post mentioned) comes up that I should pay or we should split it. And yes, there are always circumstance we may not know, or feminism at play, or a man who won’t feel like a man if he doesn’t pay. I actually have offered to split the check a couple of times, on the initial meeting, but the men have always insisted on paying. Even my friend in the aforementioned blog post, paid for our drinks on the first meeting. After that, it dwindled. And I noticed. check1 check

It is a personal choice in how to handle this when it arises. is it an age thing? Does it differ with the age of the man or woman? Do women want the man to know they are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves in some cases, or will a man not feel like a man if the woman pays? So many questions. So many opinions.  Take a look at this link from an e-harmony blog. What do you think?

http://www.eharmony.com/blog/2014/07/11/first-dates-pay/?lcid=97107&laid=Links#.U82LsLFW7ZB

Come Here Often?

We always hear about places to go to meet men. I am not talking about a bar, but somewhere like a Home Depot. There you have men all hot and bothered looking for tools, nuts and bolts, plumbing supplies.(by the way, I have never seen men like this in my Home Depot!) You can strike up a conversation when you are browsing and try to solicit one to help you. Or go the other route and show how much you know about the tool you are thinking of purchasing. Impress them where it counts.

The grocery store. Sure, you can run your cart into someone. Maybe go to Whole Foods where they have live music, a bar, and food. None of this, I am running in to buy milk. No, it all has to be planned. A day event where you need to make sure you are looking good. You never know.

 

But what about the places you would NEVER want to meet a man.

Here are a few that come to mind, but to each his own!

1. Fabric store- he is with his wife under duress or he could help with the decorating

2. child support office- he could be there for a number of reasons. 1)he hasn’t paid 2) he is behind in payments. 3) looking for payment

3. unemployment line- hey it happens

4. therapist- more issues than you need to deal with

5. guns and ammo store- individual preference no doubt, but it does speak to a certain type

6. free clinic- no need for explanation

7. Game stop- a gamer? unless you are one , i would think it could be an issue as to how time is spent, or money, or your life

There are many places to meet and look for dates, or potential mates. We all know, there are countless dating sites catering to most anyone. Different religions, different ethnic groups, different lifestyles. I came across a few sites that are definitely specific.

 

Looking for a farmer-

http://www.farmersonly.com/

 

How about that gamer we were just talking about?http://www.complex.com/video-games/2013/02/10-hook-up-websites-for-lonely-gamers/

 

Here is a site for those who eat gluten free. I happen to have celiac disease, which is a gluten intolerance. I have not yet gone on here, but I can see the benefits of having a similar dietary need. But I will say I have been a bit hesitant. Not sure why, but maybe I will give it a shot sometime soon.

http://www.glutenfreesingles.com/

Would love to hear if anyone has thoughts of other places to meet men/women or places you would rather not!