Tag Archives: meet

Let Me Introduce You

 

Sometimes you just have to read it to believe it.

Hi dear,

I really don’t mean to invade your space, but I had to do this for the love and respect I have for my friend whose name is Howard, unfortunately he isn’t into online dating for some reasons best known to him. I’ve been telling him I would hook him up with someone nice, and when he came across your profile through my account earlier, and since then he’s been all over me about getting in touch with you, he said you seem like a woman whom has found balance in all ramifications of life which is a hard thing to come by these days. You can view him on my recent photos here, copy paste this URL: http://bit.ly/29R2WbS

He’s 6ft” tall, and falls between your age search criteria, he lives in the same state with you, but he’s just here for visit, he’s a good listener, good looking and all rounded a complete gentleman, I honestly did not tell him I was gonna contact you, but thought I took a chance, you never know until you try, it should be worth it in the end I’m so sure. So take a chance and e-mail him, you can share a picture and more information with him and I’m sure he’ll be so glad to do same so both of you can know each other better, and also tell him your handle on match, don’t be shy as I am very sure he would welcome your email 100%. His direct e-mail is: howard.rains147 (at) gmail (.) com

I hope you can decode that right? lol as the site wouldn’t let it go through directly. I had to private my profile now because I’ve found someone special so I’m leaving the site, and I want the same for my friend.

Stay happy

Vivian

I really don’t know where to start. Let’s start at the end.  VIVIAN? Sure. She Isn’t the first woman to send me a message on a dating site. But I have ignored those too.  She is only  helping her poor, helpless friend Howard find a mate.  Very supportive , very caring of Vivian.  I do  think she may want to use a different phrase then “hook up” her friend Howard with someone nice.  So when she says he saw my profile on her account, let’s ask ourselves, was she looking at me too or did he borrow hers to look at women? Probably doesn’t matter, because, yes, we know it is all BS. But let’s move on.

What could the reason be that Howard isn’t into online dating? And why is he keeping these secrets a mystery from his friend Vivian? If he is asking her to help him find his soul mate, he should open up and discuss his fear of online dating with her.

I would like to know what Howard saw in my sparse profile, to know that I have “ found balance in all ramifications of life”.  Maybe if he won’t share with Vivian , he would share his insight with me.

Wouldn’t you love to peek at what lies behind this mystery photo URL that Vivian has so generously shared with me.  I could just send her my social security number and my credit card numbers and save us all time.  Did you ever notice with these insane emails , the person always uses phrases like “gonna” and “wanna?” I imagine the general consensus is that Americans speak this way so it will sound genuine. A real down to earth scammer, I mean potential dating person.

I see Howard is a tall, good looking man, and miraculously lives in my state. Could a woman ask for more?  So what if he is just a bit skeptical about online dating. Can’t imagine why, with all of these honest, trustworthy people lurking behind profiles.  Wait.  Honest and trustworthy do not lurk. They patiently wait and butterflies land on their hands while they are waiting.  And Howard has the advantage of  Vivian standing by his side.

This message was on OK Cupid. Note the sentence where Vivian asks me to tell Howard “my handle on match.”  Vivian needs to watch her copying and pasting.  Always double-check for inconsistencies and change the information to fit the site. I should email her back and tell her to be careful of these small little things that mean so much to finding Howard’s future soul mate,

And finally, let us all rejoice in Vivian’s happiness that she has found someone and will be getting off of the site and is only looking for that for her dear friend Howard.  Good thing I was able to call various government agencies and “decode” Howard’s email.

 

I’m Baaaack

It’s been a while since I have written, which I really hope someone noticed. Some of it was just being unmotivated, some lack of dating. Life does get in the way sometimes. I am going to be moving soon,  about 50-60 miles south of where I am located now, and the stress of getting the house ready to sell, finding something else, and waiting and waiting , and then more waiting, takes a toll.

I have stayed on the dating sites, and have messaged here and there, but absolutely no effort has been put forth on my part to obtain a date, or even entertain the thought.

But without fail, the guys come through with crazy notions that I may recognize their efforts by trying to get my attention in all sorts of ways. Once again we have a large age range, broken English, bad grammar, and the ever-present nudity.

Since nudity will usually grab anyone’s attention we can start there. Here is a guy who looked pretty good in his picture. Yes, I have been out of commission somewhat, but I have not forgotten that bogus pictures exist. But I have my thoughts, which will be clear in a moment or two, that the picture was him.  

The profile picture was shirtless. I don’t usually respond to the ones that are shirtless, because we really do know what they are advertising. Guess I was feeling nice that day.

We chatted on the dating site for a few days on and off. He asked could we chat on the phone instead of on the site. I said OK and sent my cell phone number. A week, at least, maybe two, went by, so I simply forgot about it.

One day I get a face-time call on my phone from a Gmail address. I ignored it. I thought briefly that whoever this was, had tried this before on my number, which I had ignored. Didn’t recognize it, because everyone I know calls from phone numbers.  I don’t make a habit of answering face-time calls when I don’t recognize the number, and this was an email address which made me more suspicious. Within a minute, it rang again. I ignored it. The third time I picked it up I said, “LOOK I DON’T KNOW WHO IS CALLING OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THIS IS BUT JUST STOP.” Note the CAPS. I believe they caught me in a bad mood! Then my phone dings, and there is a message on the dating site from the guy I had been chatting with. He says, “ did i do something wrong? why were you angry?”

I pointed out in my response that not only didn’t I know his full name, but did not know his email and why call me face-time the first time on the phone, when we haven’t chatted and I sent my number to talk and get to know one another.  Being suspicious is in my blood. I didn’t tell him that part. He responds with, “why did you scream. You scared me away ha. good luck.”

No loss there, but  I responded back, “ Oh I figure that happened 2 weeks ago when you never responded when I sent my number to you.”

Fast forward a few days, and here comes another face-time call. I recognized the email address this time. Didn’t answer. One minute later another call. So I decided to pick it up and said hello but didn’t show my face yet. I see a bare chest, recognizable from his profile picture, and in the background I hear, Hello Hello. I hung up.

Calls again . I pick it up again. I did the same thing and I hear “are you there. this is Mark.” I said yes, but I can’t see your face. I see your chest.” He doesn’t move the camera. I said where is your face? I am assuming you have one.”  And he shows me his penis. I hang up. Later that evening I get a message on the site. “Sorry I was naked on face-time.”

I wrote back . “ Thanks.” Why did I respond? Who knows. I like to egg people on I guess.

The next day I get 2 more face-time calls from him. I don’t answer. I write to him on the dating site and say, “I saw you called a few times. I am not trusting you for me to pick up the phone on face-time.” I am happy to say he has not responded and if he tries again there will be no response from me. Some guys don’t get that, that is not , speaking for myself, what someone wants to see when called. The fact that I asked  for a regular phone call and still only got face-time did not sit well with me. But when I say where is your face and I get his only body part that is clearly available, he loses.

I got the usual scam messages too, in case anyone was worried that they may have ceased. Just because my life slowed down, doesn’t mean those scammers are not working hard.

  1. Hello how are you doing over there pretty , i will care to get know more about you better are you still a single?
  2. Hello my lady,hows the weather over there………………………!
  3. am john henry from texas city am divorced with 2 kids Jerry and Mary there mom die in airplain accident amhere to look for a truth worth and honest,caring woman to spend all my life.
  4. hello dear have pass through a hell stress just to message you.please i need to know you i got attracted with your profile,so please tell me about you
  5. hi there…what a beautiful profile picture you uploaded on the site,i like that sparkling smile and i will be glad to smile with you someday….i am michael smith,50 and i am new to internet stuff…….. tell me more about you if you don’t mind i can’t wait to read back from a beautiful woman like you…i dont mind if will can hook u from here by mailing or txt.
  6. am loving and caring but am looking for someone to replace my wife. I’m funny outgoing and sensitive person. I don’t like when people around me are upset and I’m doing my best to make them at least smile. I am like fire. I am hot and bright inside.

and for now, last but not least, and we know never really the last:

7. I have always been a hopeFUL romantic longing to find THE ONE that I knew must be out there…That is definitely one thing to thank technology for! No matter where this goes, I feel so blessed to have gotten this chance to meet you and will love to get to know you better..My subscription will be ending soon and don’t intend to go for another plan because there seems to bee too much weirdo’s on the web..You’re such a very beautiful and charming woman and am sure you hear that everyday, why in the world is a very beautiful woman like you still single?

I haven’t changed, spelling, grammar, or wording. I cringe when I read it but it is what it is. Do I need to comment on these? No, I don’t. I would love to write a version of mad libs for these. And for those of you unfamiliar with Mad Libs here is a definition. (Mad Libs is a phrasal template word game where one player prompts others for a list of words to substitute for blanks in a story, before reading the – often comical or nonsensical – story aloud. The game is frequently played as a party game or as a pastime.) We would get a good laugh and I am thinking a dating Mad Libs may be in the works. Don’t steal my plan. I’ll let you play.

The Art of Conversation

We are all on these dating sites to meet someone. Well, I shouldn’t say all, because some are on these sites for their own reasons. People are chatty, like to start conversations. It can be quite interesting talking with guys from other countries. Even other states sometimes. Clearly, there is no commitment when you are across an ocean or two. There is always that little part of me that thinks, are they really in South Africa, or Spain, or whatever other exotic locale they have listed?  There was a guy from Ohio, wait, I should go with a limerick here. Later. He was in Akron. Not nearly as cool as Spain or the UK. So he says we should meet for coffee. I checked again on his profile and yep, it said Ohio. I am in Virginia.  I responded with, “It would be sort of hard to meet after work for coffee if we are in 2 separate states.”

His answer. “Thank you. Enjoy your day.”  I shook my head and later that day, lo and behold, his account was deleted. Gotta love these guys.

Back to the UK. A guy started chatting with me and I asked him where he was and he said Ireland. Would have been better if I could have heard the accent, but instead I imagined it. Actually I tried to imagine something else other than the picture he had posted too, which works much better if you go with the stereotypical Irish lad from many a romance novel. Dark, black flowing hair, piercing blue eyes, like the ocean of course. Anyway, I digress.

Irish man asked what I do.  I really do believe that no one really ever reads my profile.  I told him and then, being the polite person I am, asked what he does. He said he builds sets for shows and is a part-time life model for art classes. So yes, I fell into the trap.

“Oh?”, I asked. “What do you mean by life model?” Did I really ask that? I was pretty sure I knew what he meant.

“I pose for them. In the nude.” Yep. I was right. Went back to his profile photo and went REALLY? I didn’t say that to him. Art is art.

art1

He goes on to say he has been doing it for a few years. But that it took a while to get used to but he really enjoys it now. I told him that was nice for him but I could never do that.

He said you would be surprised. He said how uncomfortable he had been the first time or two , but then it was easy. Nope. I would not be surprised at all. I know me. Not going to happen.

The conversation continued about other subjects. Antiques, Ireland, travel, etc. Those extraneous subjects were short-lived. He says, “Tomorrow I am posing for a small group. About 3 people.”

I asked if the size of the group, (yes the group size) really mattered since being nude is being nude. He explained to me that a smaller group is more intimate and it will make him more nervous than posing in front of a large group.

One of his favorite jobs, he shared, was when he posed for a nursing home group. Said they were quite enthusiastic. Keep in mind this guy is 49, so to the nursing home crowd he was a youngster! He said they insisted he pose with an erection and it is very hard to pose that long with an erection without outside stimuli. But because I did not ask for details, I will assume he managed and got paid anyway.

art

The last part of the conversation before he realized I was not engaging in his erotic chat, was that he was next posing for a private individual. He was very nervous about this gig because he had not done that and he felt it would be extremely intimate. Whatever. But he did add that he so enjoys posing, especially with an erection, because he really likes that people are looking at him.

Being this had become more of a monologue on his part,  I said “to each his own” and he responded with “Indeed, good evening.” Which was my dismissal. Must have reminded him of his former girlfriend who he mentioned broke up with him because she didn’t like this particular job of posing. It really could have been his boasting and descriptions. She probably didn’t care that he did it, more that he didn’t shut up about it.

A New Attitude

I have an attitude. This is not new for me. I always have an attitude. Sometimes it is a good attitude, positive, and optimistic. Sometimes, it is quite the opposite. Dare I say negative and pessimistic? It’s true. Lately I can’t help it and don’t want to try to turn it around. I feel like a petulant teenager that walks around with an attitude. Oh, well, I was one at some point. My mother used to use some Yiddish expression to tell me I was in a mood. Didn’t matter what language was used, I knew that!

But now at least I can admit that. When I was a teen, you could not tell me I had attitude, because it would make it worse. Actually the same thing happens now. I hate when people say CALM DOWN. I know I need to calm down but it doesn’t happen by snapping your fingers. Now I send myself to my room. Or to my cabinet to get a wine glass.

Not that I would not turn it if I could, but I realized I can’t. Not now.  Not for the lack of trying. But sometimes it lingers and sticks to your skin, and is really hard to shake off.

badatt

I have not blogged much recently, mainly because of my attitude not being in the positive column. Part of it is from the dating experience, and part is just life being difficult. I could whine about all that is happening in my life, and probably will in a moment. And yes, it is all relative. Things that will turn around and get better, I am just not sure when. Nothing catastrophic, though at the time it seems that it is.

Let’s start with my house. I have a townhouse that has water damage. Let me put it simply. 8 months fighting with my insurance company, delay in starting work because of that. Need siding replaced and deck replaced and inside damage as well.  This began in July. Now it is March and the 12 inches of snow has finally melted away from my backyard, so MAYBE the outside work can begin.  It has been 6 weeks waiting for my new glass door to come in so it can be installed. We seem to have the domino effect working for us. Cant do this, because of A. Can’t get B and C done until A is squared away. My patience is gone. Being from NY I want things done yesterday. I don’t wait well. So 8 months has been brutal for me. Had to move out of my house for 5 weeks so the floors and drywall could get done. I am back home and hopefully things can progress. Whew, I feel better already. The people at work have been great listening to me bitch and moan for 8 months, They are probably equally ready for my house to be done too.

badatt1

Then we have the dating scene. Or lack thereof. Men can tell when you have an attitude. I can tell when I have attitude and no one seems right to me. To add to my distress, I have received no less than 20 fake user emails on OKC in the last 2 weeks. The writing is similar and then the accounts are deleted. And of course, this is not new. I have written previous posts with examples of BS flowing on the page. But they keep coming.

Just a few examples:

1.

HIM-“i live in New york and i am looking for someone who will love and care about me for a long time”

ME- sorry not what i asked. ( I had asked what he does for a living)

HIM- but now i have come to new york now dear

he says again I live in NY and wants someone to love for a long time.

but I can’t help read it as, “I love you long time” .  Either way, I responded with that isn’t what I asked, because I knew I wasn’t going to continue chatting. His answer -“now I have come to NY DEAR.” (UGH)

2.Italian but based in USA. I deal on antiques which takes me to places cos it’s a mobile job. I am a potential optimist and love to make findings and knowing new things.

3.well am new here and not sure will get on here often but I wish to have a sincere friendship and keep my new good friends in touch forever that is why I want us to get in touch by exchanging dial digits.

4.You know I was going through when I got charmed by the pretty looks in your eyes and i thought it’s wise to say hi.

You have a lovely smile on your face, that really attracted me the most and I nearly lost my breath looking deep into your eyes. I like your hair style a lot and i am just sitting here wondering what a beautiful angel like you is doing on here. Anyway we are looking and it will be my pleasure to start a conversation with a beautiful lady like you. I don’t know much about you. I will be glad to get to know each other.

appreciate and admire your intensity hope to hear from you soon Thank you very much for taking you to read

5.How are you doing on this blissful day!!…I was surfing on here and got the glimpse of your meaningful profile and with your beautiful pic caught my attention to read more.. I would like to know more about you and see where this could lead us both to…..Any way I know I is not the correct thing to give out my email but any way we can still try it out XXXXXX79@gmail.com shear more later if you like

6.Your profile really caught my interest and I have been looking and would like to know more things about you. It never hurts to try something new although it’s a just a day to the end of my subscription on this website..

How can I help but have attitude? I think I need to get in a new and improved frame of mind for anything to change. The house is moving along slowly, but moving along.  I’ll get over this hurdle and move on to the next. See. Attitude changing already.

Someone for Everyone

Clearly, we are on dating sites to meet someone , date, and for some, marry. Go out, have a good time, have someone take you to dinner. Snuggle up in front of a fire and watch a movie. See what develops.   And I am convinced that there is someone for everyone. There is no accounting for whom one is attracted to, and what chemistry is involved.  You can look at a couple and say, “Wow, I don’t get it” but, you don’t have to, they are the ones who have to get it.

There is the physical attraction, the intellectual attraction ,and dare I say,  the emotional attraction that people look for in a mate. On these dating sites, physical is the one that comes up first and then the others seep into the attraction once you get into a conversation and a meeting or two.

On these dating sites, we look at pictures and keep scrolling through, and maybe one catches your eye and you stop. Check him out, send him a message.  I mentioned this in a previous blog post, An Opposite Match, for one. Chances are you stop and check out a profile because you are attracted to that person. I also mentioned before how Match, for example, was sending me matches, that didn’t have matches that I would fit in, i.e., age criteria. So I have now cancelled my Match subscription which ends in a few weeks. I have to say, I had the least amount of contacts through that site. Good riddance.

The holidays are approaching. Family gatherings, parties galore. Maybe a date for the holidays is in the cards for some, maybe not. Now it seems a surge of new applicants hoping to meet that someone before the new year have appeared.

But did I look in the prison files? What was I thinking? Charles Manson has been available all of this time , and I missed it. Though, again, I don’t think I fit his age criteria. Well there are just a few things to consider. He is  an older man, and I don’t typically go for the 80+ crowd. Secondly, he likes the under 30 crowd. Oh, and third , he is a murderer!

So I ask, why did a 26-year-old obtain a marriage license to marry him? Let’s not overlook the fact that she has been fighting for him for 9 years! Yes that would be 17 when she got this fantastic idea. Sometimes there is no accounting for attraction and dating criteria. Or maybe lack of dating criteria.

singlethanks

Feed Me A Line

Writing is not everyone’s forte. Simple lines and simple words sometimes get a message across just as easily as flowing prose or poetry.  Do cheesy lines work?

One guy actually wrote to me and said, “Did you hurt yourself when you fell from heaven?”  I thought that was just in the movies.  No. he was not joking. Sad, I know.  But if you are going to try for a line, or some phrase that may catch my eye, make it good. Check a dictionary or Google the phrase.

Read on for another installment following a  few of my previous posts, such as, Uh What Did you Say, Would You Repeat That, Parts 1-3. and  Let Me Read From You, and Other Assorted Phrases

I’m a honest, loving, bubbling man. ( so many thoughts go through my head on this one. I think Tums could help that problem. )

Good day to you, Damsel. How was your day? Reading your profile for the first time on the site so much got me intrigued and sparkles my interest a lot (I love sparkly things) sparkles

My name is William Talking about my self, I love friends and family,. (I wonder who else he could possibly be talking about.) myself

every time I look at your picture I wonder what it would have been like to make love to you for hours and hours . ( keep wondering. keep dreaming)

Beautiful is supposed to be a word that describes someone or something. Now that I met you I realize that beautiful is more than just a word. Beautiful speaks, beautiful talks, beautiful is sexy, beautiful breathes, and beautiful smiles. Beautiful is you. (must be lyrics from a song somewhere in time)beautiful

Its been very terrible searching on this site beside I’m new to this internet dating stuffs, I was introduced by a friend who recently got married and relocated to Canada. That’s why I’m giving this a try. ( let’s see, is it terrible because he is new? or did his friend just make him feel bad? Does he want to relocate ?  Pack your bags, Ms. Right!)

am captivated in you as well as your profile and i would like to hit the books to know more about you ( maybe the books can give him some better lines)books

I really admire your beauty and cute smile. I must say every single man will love to go out with you but for me I will first love to be friends with you and see where it will lead us.. What do you think? (I  have friends.  Little does he know,  married men want to go out with me too)

How are you doing today and how is your weather over there ? I’ve been trying to find some old friends, i would like to ask you LOL (old friends?  does he know I am not his old friend? on a dating site? My weather. Covered all the social media and the weather channel in one motion)

I love to drink martini Not from a glass but all other source sets of both lips etc.  How are you? I hope we can talk. U seem a nice lady (I am a nice lady. That is why I never responded to your inappropriate lines. and these lips will never meet yours)

Hi Pretty,nice profile,checking around the dating network and your profile gave me an attention, ( I love when my profile gives attention, though I am not sure what kind of attention we are talking about)

How are you this sweet lovely day.. i got up from bed to take a glass of chilled water and was going through the site when i skimmed across your profile…sorry if i am intruding your privacy but i have to confess that you have a wonderful and charming smile that kept me staring at your page… (who gets up for a glass of water, chilled or not,  and stops at his or her laptop to check on profiles on the way to the kitchen?)water

am very active and cheerful. I like positive people and a good sense of humor. As a real man I am emotional and sensual. My friends love being in my company and talk to me by hours. ( good thing he is a real man. I hate when robots message me)robot

Everybody makes mistakes and I usually give people the benefit of the doubt, but if the same pattern keeps emerging, it’s over I do not want to meet someone who may think that they will take advantage of me or lie to me and cheat on me under false pretenses. Sorry if that sounds harsh, and I’m not accusing you of any wrongdoing, but I’m being upfront and honest about that. So you know where I stand from the beginning. With all due respect as well, I hope that you are upfront and honest with me, as well. ( I am so glad I am getting a pardon from someone I never messaged or communicated with in any way)

I’m just asking you to keep it real and be honest from the beginning; that way, nobody is wasting their time or getting their feelings hurt also realize that at times two people are just too different to be in a relationship together; it doesn’t mean that it’s anybody’s fault, it’s just that they’re too different to be compatible. Was really nice written you, will be very glad if you can also write to me much and more about yourself at this manner as i wrote to you. Well hope to hear from you soon. Kisses  (keep your kisses. I don’t want them. And if I write to you in the same manner as you wrote to me, you wont know what I am saying either. So lets forget you ever messaged me.)

my name is mark i am new here just checking out some profile but yours caught my eyes, I’d like to correspond with you,if you don’t mind, to know what we have with you,if you don’t mind, ( well , Mark. Here is the deal.  I am very proud I caught both of your eyes, and not just the usual one at a time. Work on your pronouns too)

I want to meet a woman that is tolerance level ( he should know I have no tolerance level) and how far he can go in life ( we can fill in any words that may actually complete this sentence. It will be a form of Mad Libs), if he is willing to stick around when the going gets tough and he will be there for me and I will be there for her too when the going gets tough on us. If she will still love me when I am falling apart.( again PRONOUNS !  He. She. It. They. Repeat after me.) pronouns

I like your inspiring smile on your picture ,just gone through your profile and it a great deal meeting you,you really have my interest and I can’t pass with out saying Hi, you’ve got a very nice profile and it impressive,you sounds very cool, adorable,sensitive,serious and an open minded person and I will really love to meet you in person, you’ve got a very great personality with the qualities of a good woman and I’m very much interested of getting to know the deeper side of you, so if you’re interested get back to me urgent. ( guess I’d better hurry) urgent

Well am on here looking for Happiness in Long-Term from this life ( as opposed to your past life?)

How are you doing this blessed day. I really hope everything is good.. A friend of mine introduced me to this wonderful dating site and I’m very thankful to be on here. By the I’m Tony and I guess I’m new on here.. If I must confess, I really admire your smiles ( poor thing doesn’t know for sure if he is new  on here or not.  and really, I only own one smile) smiles

Am new to this place but couldn’t help myself with your beautiful smile, Am breaking out my shy shells to let you know you captured my attention and I enjoyed everything I read on your profile. ( what is a shy shell and how does one break it out? )shy

and one of my favorites-

“Wow dear” what an Surprise, honesty I must Say you have a very lovely and Beautiful simile, from a pretty face, Dear I apologize” Which I’II could be friends.

            I think we need a translator for this one.

One Swipe Says It All

I am not sure I get the whole “like you” button on OKC. Though, I think I get the concept. All the dating sites seem to have a similar feature. Match.com has a favorite button and a like button. OKC has the “he likes you” button., Sort of like Tinder does , but with a little more information. and a little more effort than a swipe. It seems to be a good starting point. Hey I like you. Maybe you will like me.  Brings me back to 6th grade, where a boy likes you, tells his friend, who then tells your friend, who then tells  you that Johnny likes you, you giggle together and exclaim how cute he is, and nothing ever happens.

like

I receive  a “He Likes You” message from a member. I look at  his profile, then decide if I will like him back.  What now?  If I check it out and he seems appealing in some ways, I may hit the ‘I like you button’ as well. Here we go . We are matched up both liking one another. Then what? I have done just that . I have let him know that I too am interested.  And nothing. No follow up from him. No message. No interaction. I have also tried, if  he has “liked me” , to send a message to him.  No problem making the first move. So I write a quick message.  Do I expect a response? Yes I do. You went through the effort of looking at my profile, and  hitting ‘Like you.’ Here is my main question. You liked me, I am sending you a message, why would you not respond? Did you change your mind? Did you hit the wrong button?  Is that a feature similar to Facebook? Where you like a comment or a photo and no one expects anything after that?

My assumption is, it is a feature to help match you up with someone. He has informed me that he likes me, so therefore I would assume, (never a good idea) that he would want further contact. match

In reality, he is just letting me know and moves on.  Is it a shyness factor?  Or another  one for his plus column? I just want to let you know I like you, but I am not willing to do anything about it.

I guess Tinder comes into play again. I have matched a number of guys on there, and nothing. No message to me and no response, whether I decide to send one first, or wait for him to make the first contact. Maybe they are keeping score of how  many matches they can get. Tinder I take with a grain of salt anyway. I get the concept, but do you really want to meet someone who doesn’t even put a photo on there? That is all you are going by in the first place. One needs a starting point, don’t they?

And, by the way,  there have been times on Tinder, where I would forget, think I am swiping to look at another picture and I hit the nope or Like feature instead! Ooops. Meant to say I like you  but I hit NOPE by mistake. I am sure  he will come up in another round-up! Of course, accidentally hitting I like you , when you meant to hit NOPE, is worse. Then they may match. And back on the photo topic on Tinder, why does any guy think I, or anyone, would hit LIKE if he has no picture, no information about himself and who is to say even the age is correct?  That is a risk I am not willing to Swipe!

An Opposite Match

I joined Match a year or two ago, but was never very excited about it. When my membership expired, I didn’t renew it.  I thought, why pay , when I am getting no results and very frustrated about it. After about  8 months, I saw there was yet another special deal to join, so I caved, and re-joined the masses on Match.  It hasn’t changed.

Here is my problem.  As we have discussed in the past, I do like younger men. Not extremely younger , though when they message me, I fight temptation. I am getting more practical in my old age. Usually.

One of the main reasons I am not thrilled with Match.com, is because most of the time I am sent matches that to me, really don’t match at all.  Let me explain. For example,  if I put in 47-63 year old age group, I get matches within that age group. BUT, the age range that the men are seeking , does not in any way match mine.  Is that a half match? It doesn’t make sense to me if I am looking for men in a certain age group and specific ethnic groups, that I am sent men that may meet my specific age requirement, but nothing else at all. These men do not want my age group. They are seeking women decades younger.  So, even if I am willing to get someone near my age, whether it is up or down, most of the time they are seeking women in their 30s and 40s. The men that are viewing me and “liking” me,  are much older than I am. Nothing wrong with that, except my beef is,  they are not matching the criteria I chose. And the ones I am getting for matches, I don’t match the criteria that they chose. I am getting a list of men recommended, that do not want someone my age. Where is my Match there?

older

I am not saying necessarily that it is Match’s fault per se.  They are sending me matches that fit my criteria to a point. I will give them that. But if almost every guy in that group wants someone decades younger, that does not work for me.

Looks like I wont be renewing this again.

You can’t help the likes and dislikes on any of these matches. I state quite clearly in my profile that camping and hiking are not my thing.  Fishing is  pretty close to those activities as well, though fishing I can deal with if I am not getting seasick on a boat. I sound like a barrel of fun, don’t I? And yes, there are many men who clearly state that if you are not interested in outdoor activities, or sailing is not your thing , then don’t contact them. No problem here.  I know the dating sites say they match up likes and dislikes, but again, I am not in complete agreement on that one. I know you can’t get it down to exact specifics, but  coming close would be great. Like all of my matches who clearly want someone much younger, usually want her to be able to hike to the campgrounds with a fishing pole. Have fun.

I am starting to believe that though opposites do attract,  it doesn’t necessarily translate to lasting.

I was married to an opposite. Note the WAS. I am from New York City originally and he is from Georgia.  Him: Raised as a Southern Baptist from Georgia. Me: New York Jewish girl. Not sure you can get more opposite than that.  He was quiet, I was not. He didn’t like to talk in person or on the phone. Me: I can talk to anyone ,anywhere, any time. He was not comfortable in social situations, I thrived on them.

I think some opposites can compliment each other. Others are like oil and  water .

bacon

Dating sites for me seem to match oil and water. I need a ham and cheese or bacon and egg match.

Dutch Treat

I went out with someone a few times. I know. A little shocking. Made it past date one and date two. Keep in mind it was over a period of about 2 months, but , nonetheless, it was with the same person. Then we even progressed to date 3 and 4.  Nothing to get overly excited about, because it is over now. But we did make it to 5 dates. A record. Not for me personally, but for me on a dating site. But  I am giving you the ending before the beginning. Though, there are people I know that like to read the ending to a book , and then read the book. Never could understand that, but lets save that for another time.

I meet this guy for a drink one evening after messaging back and forth for a couple of weeks. Fun conversations, interesting topics. We seem to hit it off and there was somewhat of an attraction between us. We went out once after that initial date, again for a drink.  Weeks go by and we chat thought texts, and phone calls. We seemed to have some difficulty pinning down a time we could agree on to meet up, mostly because our schedules were getting crazy. And as I mentioned, we did go out a couple of times after the frist. In case you aren’t counting , that is four dates. And I say ‘Date’ loosely. It was a date, in the sense that we met somewhere.  We would have a drink, maybe two , talk. He would ask to come to my house. I would say no. Then he would ask if i would come to his house. I would say no. Then he would offer to bring wine- be still my heart, but again , I said no.  Why, because I was sensing a pattern, but still, contrary to my usual nature, I was trying to be optimistic.

Thanksgiving comes and goes, and I go out of town to see family.He has plans to do the same, with a few texts keeping up the communication.

Christmas comes and I already had plans to go out of town to see one of my sons.  I texted him “Merry Christmas”, and he returned the same.

I returned home a few days before New Years Eve. No word from him since the Christmas greeting. I thought, at this point, since we had seen each other a number of times, he would see what I was doing New Years Eve,  maybe we would plan to get together. Nothing. And no, I  didn’t bring it up. I think all along I was trying to figure out if this was going anywhere.

So a month later he calls and asks if I want to go out to a movie and something to eat. I said, “sure, that sounds good. “

I figured it has been months and we are having something closer to a “real date.”  He says. OK, I’ll pay for the food and you get the movie.”

Call me old fashioned, but I was taken aback.  I caved, deciding oh ok, why not?   I ordered the tickets online. He picked me up and we went to a place in the area where the movie is located. Ordered a glass of wine and we got some menus, on his suggestion. “ Maybe we should get something to eat before the movie.”  Sipping the wine, he closes his menu, and announces to me,  “Well, he said, “there is nothing here to eat, so lets go somewhere else.”  Again, I was a bit surprised, since the menu is expansive and really good. And, he neglected to  ask me if I thought the same thing. Nope. We were out of there.

Lucky for me, there was a bar/restaurant, just down the block from that place.  Walked in, headed to the bar, and before I could decide on red or white,  he ordered 2 waters. Surprisingly, there was an appetizer he could tolerate, and we each had a small appetizer, and left for the movie. This is not sitting well with me.ImageImage

I did enjoy the movie though. American Hustle. Movie over, and home we go. I go. Alone. My choice, not his. He had a different suggestion, but I vetoed that.

My decision was made. I wasn’t feeling it. I didnt want him over, I didn’t want to go there. I am not a fan of dutch treat, among other things that popped up during our five date run.  Spoiled? Old fashioned thinking? Call it what you will.  I broke it off , telling a fib. Told him I started seeing someone else and I needed to see how that would go. He sent me a sad face on text. It didn’t break my heart.

He called again a few months later asking how I was , and was I still seeing this “made up” man. I answered and told him fine. He was fine too. Still wasn’t feeling it.Image

Come Here Often?

We always hear about places to go to meet men. I am not talking about a bar, but somewhere like a Home Depot. There you have men all hot and bothered looking for tools, nuts and bolts, plumbing supplies.(by the way, I have never seen men like this in my Home Depot!) You can strike up a conversation when you are browsing and try to solicit one to help you. Or go the other route and show how much you know about the tool you are thinking of purchasing. Impress them where it counts.

The grocery store. Sure, you can run your cart into someone. Maybe go to Whole Foods where they have live music, a bar, and food. None of this, I am running in to buy milk. No, it all has to be planned. A day event where you need to make sure you are looking good. You never know.

 

But what about the places you would NEVER want to meet a man.

Here are a few that come to mind, but to each his own!

1. Fabric store- he is with his wife under duress or he could help with the decorating

2. child support office- he could be there for a number of reasons. 1)he hasn’t paid 2) he is behind in payments. 3) looking for payment

3. unemployment line- hey it happens

4. therapist- more issues than you need to deal with

5. guns and ammo store- individual preference no doubt, but it does speak to a certain type

6. free clinic- no need for explanation

7. Game stop- a gamer? unless you are one , i would think it could be an issue as to how time is spent, or money, or your life

There are many places to meet and look for dates, or potential mates. We all know, there are countless dating sites catering to most anyone. Different religions, different ethnic groups, different lifestyles. I came across a few sites that are definitely specific.

 

Looking for a farmer-

http://www.farmersonly.com/

 

How about that gamer we were just talking about?http://www.complex.com/video-games/2013/02/10-hook-up-websites-for-lonely-gamers/

 

Here is a site for those who eat gluten free. I happen to have celiac disease, which is a gluten intolerance. I have not yet gone on here, but I can see the benefits of having a similar dietary need. But I will say I have been a bit hesitant. Not sure why, but maybe I will give it a shot sometime soon.

http://www.glutenfreesingles.com/

Would love to hear if anyone has thoughts of other places to meet men/women or places you would rather not!