Tag Archives: Dating

online dating

The Art of Conversation

We are all on these dating sites to meet someone. Well, I shouldn’t say all, because some are on these sites for their own reasons. People are chatty, like to start conversations. It can be quite interesting talking with guys from other countries. Even other states sometimes. Clearly, there is no commitment when you are across an ocean or two. There is always that little part of me that thinks, are they really in South Africa, or Spain, or whatever other exotic locale they have listed?  There was a guy from Ohio, wait, I should go with a limerick here. Later. He was in Akron. Not nearly as cool as Spain or the UK. So he says we should meet for coffee. I checked again on his profile and yep, it said Ohio. I am in Virginia.  I responded with, “It would be sort of hard to meet after work for coffee if we are in 2 separate states.”

His answer. “Thank you. Enjoy your day.”  I shook my head and later that day, lo and behold, his account was deleted. Gotta love these guys.

Back to the UK. A guy started chatting with me and I asked him where he was and he said Ireland. Would have been better if I could have heard the accent, but instead I imagined it. Actually I tried to imagine something else other than the picture he had posted too, which works much better if you go with the stereotypical Irish lad from many a romance novel. Dark, black flowing hair, piercing blue eyes, like the ocean of course. Anyway, I digress.

Irish man asked what I do.  I really do believe that no one really ever reads my profile.  I told him and then, being the polite person I am, asked what he does. He said he builds sets for shows and is a part-time life model for art classes. So yes, I fell into the trap.

“Oh?”, I asked. “What do you mean by life model?” Did I really ask that? I was pretty sure I knew what he meant.

“I pose for them. In the nude.” Yep. I was right. Went back to his profile photo and went REALLY? I didn’t say that to him. Art is art.

art1

He goes on to say he has been doing it for a few years. But that it took a while to get used to but he really enjoys it now. I told him that was nice for him but I could never do that.

He said you would be surprised. He said how uncomfortable he had been the first time or two , but then it was easy. Nope. I would not be surprised at all. I know me. Not going to happen.

The conversation continued about other subjects. Antiques, Ireland, travel, etc. Those extraneous subjects were short-lived. He says, “Tomorrow I am posing for a small group. About 3 people.”

I asked if the size of the group, (yes the group size) really mattered since being nude is being nude. He explained to me that a smaller group is more intimate and it will make him more nervous than posing in front of a large group.

One of his favorite jobs, he shared, was when he posed for a nursing home group. Said they were quite enthusiastic. Keep in mind this guy is 49, so to the nursing home crowd he was a youngster! He said they insisted he pose with an erection and it is very hard to pose that long with an erection without outside stimuli. But because I did not ask for details, I will assume he managed and got paid anyway.

art

The last part of the conversation before he realized I was not engaging in his erotic chat, was that he was next posing for a private individual. He was very nervous about this gig because he had not done that and he felt it would be extremely intimate. Whatever. But he did add that he so enjoys posing, especially with an erection, because he really likes that people are looking at him.

Being this had become more of a monologue on his part,  I said “to each his own” and he responded with “Indeed, good evening.” Which was my dismissal. Must have reminded him of his former girlfriend who he mentioned broke up with him because she didn’t like this particular job of posing. It really could have been his boasting and descriptions. She probably didn’t care that he did it, more that he didn’t shut up about it.

Next!

I have never experienced speed dating. I have vaguely thought about it, but have never actually made the move.  Admittingly, I have been tempted but really have only seen the process in a movie. It did sound intriguing. What could I learn in a few minutes from someone? Though, sometimes, as soon as someone opens their mouth I know that either I don’t want to hear anymore, or I’m ready for a second sentence.  I know on the dating sites I take a look at some pictures and think, “no thank you.” What would happen in person? The guy would start to sit down and I would say, “keep moving.” And in reverse, what if he said it to me? “Hey, don’t bother to sit down.”

But like online dating, you know right away, usually, if you want to message someone.  Messaging online is so much easier, or safer, than in person. No one can see you blush, or get pissed off, or disgusted And yes, it does work both ways. Basically, it is easier rejection.

speed1

I received a groupon type offer for speed dating. I clicked on it and thought I would take a look. It just explained where the event would be, how much you pay and how much you save. But then I looked at the photos. There wasn’t a person over 30. Now I know they are not going to put wrinkly, old faces on there, trying to lure you in. I get that. But, for me, being way over 30, I thought, hmmm, is everyone here just out of college and just moving out of Mom and Dad’s house? It is like the brochures for trips to a resort, or a cruise. We won’t see fat, roly poly men and women in bathing suits, lounging around the pool, or sitting atop of a horse. Nor do we want to. It was clear who they are advertising this event for. Now I know any age could go, but looking at the pictures it discouraged me right away. Maybe I need to start a speed dating for over 50. Speed dating for cougars? Speed dating for boy toys? Hey this could work!

speed

I also received an email to join SpeedDate.com. Speed dating online? I’m listening. Maybe many of you have already tried it. I’m catching up. Took me years to join the online dating crowd in general. Speedy is good.

Here it says you can message or webcam, and know right away. For me, there will be no webcam to start. I dont trust that. Who knows what will be waiting for you when you open a webcam to a perfect male stranger. Call me crazy, but that won’t be happening.

The process of elimination on speed date would be so much quicker and less painful, I would imagine. I may have to look into the site or the concept, just to see how it works, without cameras anywhere.  Maybe like Tinder. Swipe him away in a second. Move on to the next. Can it be speedier than that?

Be Patient

No secret about older women liking younger men. Celebrities do it all of the time. Well, many women date younger, but we hear about the celebrities. And of course older men with younger women is a given. But hey, why not? For whatever reasons, you are attracted to a certain type. No need to explain. You like younger. Dont worry.

No need to worry about finding that one guy that you want to date. He is out there. Maybe not now , but soon.

Always good to look at the humorous side of things.

age

Happily Ever After

A christmas Marathon of Hallmark Movies , 24 hours , all day long, from Halloween through Christmas.xmas

I will admit is is a guilty pleasure of mine.  Maybe because through all of the heartache and pleasures, it always works out in the end. The single mom gets the job and, and, not to worry, her kids have a wonderful Christmas.  And let’s not forget she always gets her man! Usually a girlfriend of the guy exists, but either she is a raging bitch, or a conniving, manipulative, after his money, kind of gal. They also switch it up a bit, and then there could be the money hungry executive who makes no time for the girlfriend, so of course she meets a gorgeous , kind hearted, altruistic guy on her way home to see her family. In some cases, he or she, just shows up at the door.

The part I have trouble dealing with, or should I say one of the parts I have trouble dealing with is, when an extremely good looking guy , or girl, ends up in someone’s home, celebrating Christmas with the family they have never laid eyes on before that day. Or maybe, as in the example below, they meet a stranger, bring them into their homes, with their children and family involved. And no one is skeptical or nervous that there is a stranger sleeping over and eating meals with them. And yes, I am aware this is fictional and on Hallmark, but no one should be that trusting. Even on TV!

In one movie, this good looking guy meets a single mom’s uncle at an airport. Of course they are flying to the same city, where this perfect stranger is invited into his niece’s palatial home, with her young son. And the airport is snowed in. Oh, she expresses a second of concern, stating emphatically, “who is this man? We don’t know anything about him.” And then he helps decorate the house, gets her into the Christmas spirit, cause her to dump the stuffy boyfriend, and yes, fall in love with him and they all live happily ever after.  happy

Then there is the one where the cute girl accidentally goes to what she thinks is her boyfriend’s family’s home. She eventually finds out it was a complete misunderstanding, and being this is the first time she was meeting them, she finds she is in the wrong house. But it is a warm loving family, and we come to find out , the boyfriend’s family are cold, stuffy and don’t like to celebrate Christmas. Oh wait, I bet you haven’t figured the next part out. She falls in love with the good looking son of this impostor family, they get married and live happily ever after.

Sensing a theme here? Wouldnt it be great if we all lived a hallmark movie? Who needs dating sites? Just go to a town filled with Christmas spirit and your soul mate will be waiting. Oh and he will be good looking, wealthy, and maybe even a prince.

It’s a good escape. I can forget all of my dating troubles and all of my everyday life troubles. Does anyone really live a “Hallmark Movie” existence? Not in my world. Wouldnt it be nice to wrap everything up in 90 minutes? Get the job you want.  Find out the ordinary man you are dating is really royalty and wants you to be his princess.

The list goes on. Same theme, some of the same Hallmark actors in each movie. Boy meets girl. Boy gets girl. All is well in the world and everyone is happy.

Dont worry. February brings the romance movie marathon on Hallmark. There is still time to fulfill your guilty pleasure. rom

Feed Me A Line

Writing is not everyone’s forte. Simple lines and simple words sometimes get a message across just as easily as flowing prose or poetry.  Do cheesy lines work?

One guy actually wrote to me and said, “Did you hurt yourself when you fell from heaven?”  I thought that was just in the movies.  No. he was not joking. Sad, I know.  But if you are going to try for a line, or some phrase that may catch my eye, make it good. Check a dictionary or Google the phrase.

Read on for another installment following a  few of my previous posts, such as, Uh What Did you Say, Would You Repeat That, Parts 1-3. and  Let Me Read From You, and Other Assorted Phrases

I’m a honest, loving, bubbling man. ( so many thoughts go through my head on this one. I think Tums could help that problem. )

Good day to you, Damsel. How was your day? Reading your profile for the first time on the site so much got me intrigued and sparkles my interest a lot (I love sparkly things) sparkles

My name is William Talking about my self, I love friends and family,. (I wonder who else he could possibly be talking about.) myself

every time I look at your picture I wonder what it would have been like to make love to you for hours and hours . ( keep wondering. keep dreaming)

Beautiful is supposed to be a word that describes someone or something. Now that I met you I realize that beautiful is more than just a word. Beautiful speaks, beautiful talks, beautiful is sexy, beautiful breathes, and beautiful smiles. Beautiful is you. (must be lyrics from a song somewhere in time)beautiful

Its been very terrible searching on this site beside I’m new to this internet dating stuffs, I was introduced by a friend who recently got married and relocated to Canada. That’s why I’m giving this a try. ( let’s see, is it terrible because he is new? or did his friend just make him feel bad? Does he want to relocate ?  Pack your bags, Ms. Right!)

am captivated in you as well as your profile and i would like to hit the books to know more about you ( maybe the books can give him some better lines)books

I really admire your beauty and cute smile. I must say every single man will love to go out with you but for me I will first love to be friends with you and see where it will lead us.. What do you think? (I  have friends.  Little does he know,  married men want to go out with me too)

How are you doing today and how is your weather over there ? I’ve been trying to find some old friends, i would like to ask you LOL (old friends?  does he know I am not his old friend? on a dating site? My weather. Covered all the social media and the weather channel in one motion)

I love to drink martini Not from a glass but all other source sets of both lips etc.  How are you? I hope we can talk. U seem a nice lady (I am a nice lady. That is why I never responded to your inappropriate lines. and these lips will never meet yours)

Hi Pretty,nice profile,checking around the dating network and your profile gave me an attention, ( I love when my profile gives attention, though I am not sure what kind of attention we are talking about)

How are you this sweet lovely day.. i got up from bed to take a glass of chilled water and was going through the site when i skimmed across your profile…sorry if i am intruding your privacy but i have to confess that you have a wonderful and charming smile that kept me staring at your page… (who gets up for a glass of water, chilled or not,  and stops at his or her laptop to check on profiles on the way to the kitchen?)water

am very active and cheerful. I like positive people and a good sense of humor. As a real man I am emotional and sensual. My friends love being in my company and talk to me by hours. ( good thing he is a real man. I hate when robots message me)robot

Everybody makes mistakes and I usually give people the benefit of the doubt, but if the same pattern keeps emerging, it’s over I do not want to meet someone who may think that they will take advantage of me or lie to me and cheat on me under false pretenses. Sorry if that sounds harsh, and I’m not accusing you of any wrongdoing, but I’m being upfront and honest about that. So you know where I stand from the beginning. With all due respect as well, I hope that you are upfront and honest with me, as well. ( I am so glad I am getting a pardon from someone I never messaged or communicated with in any way)

I’m just asking you to keep it real and be honest from the beginning; that way, nobody is wasting their time or getting their feelings hurt also realize that at times two people are just too different to be in a relationship together; it doesn’t mean that it’s anybody’s fault, it’s just that they’re too different to be compatible. Was really nice written you, will be very glad if you can also write to me much and more about yourself at this manner as i wrote to you. Well hope to hear from you soon. Kisses  (keep your kisses. I don’t want them. And if I write to you in the same manner as you wrote to me, you wont know what I am saying either. So lets forget you ever messaged me.)

my name is mark i am new here just checking out some profile but yours caught my eyes, I’d like to correspond with you,if you don’t mind, to know what we have with you,if you don’t mind, ( well , Mark. Here is the deal.  I am very proud I caught both of your eyes, and not just the usual one at a time. Work on your pronouns too)

I want to meet a woman that is tolerance level ( he should know I have no tolerance level) and how far he can go in life ( we can fill in any words that may actually complete this sentence. It will be a form of Mad Libs), if he is willing to stick around when the going gets tough and he will be there for me and I will be there for her too when the going gets tough on us. If she will still love me when I am falling apart.( again PRONOUNS !  He. She. It. They. Repeat after me.) pronouns

I like your inspiring smile on your picture ,just gone through your profile and it a great deal meeting you,you really have my interest and I can’t pass with out saying Hi, you’ve got a very nice profile and it impressive,you sounds very cool, adorable,sensitive,serious and an open minded person and I will really love to meet you in person, you’ve got a very great personality with the qualities of a good woman and I’m very much interested of getting to know the deeper side of you, so if you’re interested get back to me urgent. ( guess I’d better hurry) urgent

Well am on here looking for Happiness in Long-Term from this life ( as opposed to your past life?)

How are you doing this blessed day. I really hope everything is good.. A friend of mine introduced me to this wonderful dating site and I’m very thankful to be on here. By the I’m Tony and I guess I’m new on here.. If I must confess, I really admire your smiles ( poor thing doesn’t know for sure if he is new  on here or not.  and really, I only own one smile) smiles

Am new to this place but couldn’t help myself with your beautiful smile, Am breaking out my shy shells to let you know you captured my attention and I enjoyed everything I read on your profile. ( what is a shy shell and how does one break it out? )shy

and one of my favorites-

“Wow dear” what an Surprise, honesty I must Say you have a very lovely and Beautiful simile, from a pretty face, Dear I apologize” Which I’II could be friends.

            I think we need a translator for this one.

One Swipe Says It All

I am not sure I get the whole “like you” button on OKC. Though, I think I get the concept. All the dating sites seem to have a similar feature. Match.com has a favorite button and a like button. OKC has the “he likes you” button., Sort of like Tinder does , but with a little more information. and a little more effort than a swipe. It seems to be a good starting point. Hey I like you. Maybe you will like me.  Brings me back to 6th grade, where a boy likes you, tells his friend, who then tells your friend, who then tells  you that Johnny likes you, you giggle together and exclaim how cute he is, and nothing ever happens.

like

I receive  a “He Likes You” message from a member. I look at  his profile, then decide if I will like him back.  What now?  If I check it out and he seems appealing in some ways, I may hit the ‘I like you button’ as well. Here we go . We are matched up both liking one another. Then what? I have done just that . I have let him know that I too am interested.  And nothing. No follow up from him. No message. No interaction. I have also tried, if  he has “liked me” , to send a message to him.  No problem making the first move. So I write a quick message.  Do I expect a response? Yes I do. You went through the effort of looking at my profile, and  hitting ‘Like you.’ Here is my main question. You liked me, I am sending you a message, why would you not respond? Did you change your mind? Did you hit the wrong button?  Is that a feature similar to Facebook? Where you like a comment or a photo and no one expects anything after that?

My assumption is, it is a feature to help match you up with someone. He has informed me that he likes me, so therefore I would assume, (never a good idea) that he would want further contact. match

In reality, he is just letting me know and moves on.  Is it a shyness factor?  Or another  one for his plus column? I just want to let you know I like you, but I am not willing to do anything about it.

I guess Tinder comes into play again. I have matched a number of guys on there, and nothing. No message to me and no response, whether I decide to send one first, or wait for him to make the first contact. Maybe they are keeping score of how  many matches they can get. Tinder I take with a grain of salt anyway. I get the concept, but do you really want to meet someone who doesn’t even put a photo on there? That is all you are going by in the first place. One needs a starting point, don’t they?

And, by the way,  there have been times on Tinder, where I would forget, think I am swiping to look at another picture and I hit the nope or Like feature instead! Ooops. Meant to say I like you  but I hit NOPE by mistake. I am sure  he will come up in another round-up! Of course, accidentally hitting I like you , when you meant to hit NOPE, is worse. Then they may match. And back on the photo topic on Tinder, why does any guy think I, or anyone, would hit LIKE if he has no picture, no information about himself and who is to say even the age is correct?  That is a risk I am not willing to Swipe!

Excess Baggage

Humor, I realize, is a relative term. Some people have no sense of humor. Some people use sarcasm (me raising my hand), slapstick, dry humor , and wit to name a few. Did you ever say something that you just think is hilarious ,and the other person stares at you like you have 2 heads, and they are thinking, “What is so funny?”

sarcasm

When I first created my dating profile, I did write that I felt a sense of humor is important, and pretty much necessary. I like to laugh and joke. I am serious when I have to be , and sarcasm is part of me. I am not hurtful, but sarcasm and wit are my types of humor.

Sometimes you think something is completed , and there is just one little thing that occurs until you know you can add the cherry on top to be done.  I should have known there would be a part 2 . Here is a continuation of my last post when I discussed the guy who did not want to reveal his age. (see “Ageless Dating”) As I had said, we had chatted for quite a while.  He sent me his phone number and asked me for mine, which I gave him.

A few days later, we were talking on the site when he brought up the idea of talking on the phone. I asked him if he would be home that evening. Now, in my head, I was thinking, if he is going to be home, and  I am as well, it would be a good time to have a phone conversation. He writes back and says, “wow, that makes me reminiscent of landline phones.”   I thought about it for just a second, and realized he thought I meant that you had to be home to get the call. Which of course immediately made me think, “is he calling me old?” But, that is me and my paranoia, so I dismissed that thought, and wrote back. And here is where it all hit the fan!

Me: “Ha. OK smart ass. I just meant will you be available  so we could chat.”

Him: total silence

wit

One day later I get a message that says , “ I cannot call you on the phone. I am backing up.”

I write back and say,”I  am not following you. What do you mean?”

Now, of course, I am thinking, “ Did I miss something?” And, also I am thinking you could have gone with your first impression when he was so dramatic about the age saga, but no, too easy. I have to find out.

I get nothing back. My assumption is, he certainly was backing off. OK that should do it for me. But no, I want to hear it.

The next evening I see he is on chat so I send him a quick “ Hey how are you doing?”

What do I get back.? “ I am mad at you.”

Enter 8th grade casting call.

WHAT? Which is exactly what I said to him.

He continues to say that he wasn’t even going to tell me, but he will.

I am thinking, Oh thank you lord. Now I can sleep. Really? You are gracing me with an answer?

He says, “ I don’t appreciate anyone calling me names. I hate when people call me names. That is rude and I haven’t even met you.”

I am sitting there reading these messages as they come in, thinking , “I called him a name?”

He then says, “You called me a smart ass. That is so negative and hurtful. I cannot talk to anyone that calls me a name.”

“I did not call you a name. I was joking.  Just referring to what you said. As in sarcasm, as in, ok smarty pants, I get what you mean.  Except I used smart ass because I always say that.”

That wasn’t going to do it for him, but I found myself defending my actions.

He continues, “ Maybe you and people you know do that . I cannot tolerate name calling.”

Now I am irritated because I realize he is not listening to my explanation. He finally tells me his ex-wife called him names and she cheated on him. Well now the picture is clear. Believe me, I don’t think anyone should call anyone names.  And I respect the fact that he clearly has issues with this. But I was in the dark. How was I to know he had these problems with his ex, or in general? The fact that I had to go over the message history between us to find out that I called him a name, made me think twice.  But , I really felt I wanted to defend my delicate reputation. I have never had a reaction like that in all of my life.

I said, well, first of all, I am not your ex-wife, and secondly, you need to  understand that this was delivered in a joking , light  way. I said if I had called you an asshole (which believe me was very close to next on my list) then you can say I called you a name.

But SMART ASS, was simply said in a lighthearted, joking way.  His reply was well I didn’t take it as a joke. I’ll have to simmer down and see how I feel in a few days.

An hour later I checked on the site and he had deleted his entire profile. Never knew I had such an impact.

No, he did not take it the lighthearted manner in which it was delivered.

I did say at one point,  “You know in person. One could hear the tone, in which a comment or expression is delivered. You can see the person’s facial expressions. “

He actually pondered that. But immediately assuming I was like his ex, tells me he is carrying more baggage and drama, then anyone should have to deal with. bags1

No need to take the few days to simmer down. Simmer all you want. I’m good and quickly moving on.

I thought, honey, if you can’t tolerate that, there is no way in hell we could ever meet.  You would be creamed by my sarcasm and my sense of humor.  Everyone does have varying degrees of humor, but that is something you can learn about  as you get to know someone.  If you want to get to know that someone.

If you were worried, his profile is back up on the site.  Glad to see it wasn’t permanent damage Inflicted. I may have felt bad. Or not.

Ageless Dating

Age is only a number.  I cannot tell you how many times I have  heard that  phrase.  Mostly from younger men, pretty much telling me not to worry about how young they are!

I was talking to a guy on OKC, who decided not to reveal his age . At least not right away.  He said he really didn’t like the age question on the dating sites. Why restrict yourself?  “why do people care?” he asked me.  I replied it was mostly a preference, but I am a curious type and I like to know.

“Why? is it important?” he wanted to know.

“Yes , I think it is. To a point. “  I told him.

He asked, “What if you really like talking to the guy and want to meet.  What if he is 22 and has a great job, and an advanced degree, and is an all around great guy? “  Now I looked at his photos again, to make sure I did not think this one was 22!

I do feel technically it shouldn’t matter, but as nice as he could be , I would not feel comfortable about dating someone younger than all of my own children! I think an age gap is a personal preference. and is limited to what works for the individual.  On the same note, I wouldn’t feel comfortable dating someone my Dad’s age either. I think one sets their own limits to what is their comfort zone.

age

I know plenty of people who marry or date someone with maybe a 15-20 years age difference. Personally, a 35-40 year age difference would bother me. He wouldn’t know ,unless from books or an older aunt or uncle, about anything I have lived through. Even his parents would be younger than i am! that would really upset my comfort zone.

He also asked me if i thought it was a judgment problem. Did I worry that people would judge me? I admitted judgment is a factor to a certain degree, but i think I would  end up judging myself as well. If I know I am not comfortable with it, I just won’t do it.

I went online to see what was out there, and sure enough, there is a site for ageless dating!

http://www.agelessdating.com/

This could open up one’s outlook on not getting caught up the  “age discussion”. Or, more likely, for me, at least, open up that can of worms I  try to avoid.

But, the thing that baffles me , is ,when you go under search, the first box you are supposed to fill out, is AGE!  They want a range. I haven’t done it yet.  But  for research  purposes, I just may have to for my fellow daters. What a trooper!

Account Deleted

You can tell from the first sentence usually, that the message you are reading  is clearly a bogus message and if you wait just a little while the user’s account will  be deleted. As in these 2 cases. I knew, when I was called a “gentle soul,” in the opening line, that  I wanted to get the conversation going, to see how long it would take for the account to disappear. It was 10 min, about 10 quick messages.

He begins with “hello i have to admit you are quite a gentle soul and one that qualifies to be a princess, can’t stand looking at your pic without saying hi….. was reading through your profile and i think we could try this and see where it leads us …. so tell me about the things you hate”

Did you have to read that last sentence twice? things you HATE? I read it twice and thought, well here is a new approach.

I responded with, “how do you know I am a gentle soul? I hate liars.”

Him: “okay i also hate liars i can see you are a gentle soul from your picture”

Me: “ok if you say so!”

Him: “oh okay please what is your name? and what are you looking for on this site? how long have you been on this site??”

Me: “been on for 6 months or so, looking to date for now. what about you?”

Him: “me today is my first time on dating site and am also looking for a soul mate please do you have kids?”

Me: (getting bitchier ) “oh I didn’t say soulmate I said date. yes I have kids and grandkids. do you have kids?”

Him: yes i have a son who is 17years please what do you do for living??”

Here is when it gets really good.

Me: “librarian. you?” (keeping it short because I knew it was about done)

Him: “what do you mean of librarian?”

Note: I am now gasping and laughing

Him: “me am an engineer so how long have you been single?”

Me: “do you not know what a librarian is? what kind of engineer? You certainly don’t sound like your profile is written.” (bitchier now because I don’t care)

Him: “lol oh sorry librarian oh you work in where they keep books right please forgive me am doing some things before chatting with you am an architect.”

And so it goes. I couldn’t bring myself to keep it going at that point.  Checked about 10 minutes later. Account gone!

# 2 . Yes I keep these conversations going until I crack and can’t bring myself to respond.

Him: “How are you, I’m Jake your profile caught my eye! You sound very interesting. I will like to know more about you & your interests i can’t resist talking to you

Cheers, Jake

Me: “I am doing fine. and how are you?”

Him: “thanks for adding me up on here,i appreciate it..So how’s everything been with you? I will really like to get to know you more. Have you been on here for long, i joined not long ago.

Me: been on about 6 months. so how is Chicago?

Him: “Chicago is great…so what do you seek here?”

Me: “I guess someone to date. you? I see you are an architect? it says construction though?”

NOTE: I said this statement because just about every bogus account the job listed is construction.

Him: That is the closet to m line of work of all the professions there….I am to look for a woman i can spend the rest of my life, and not just any woman…someone who will understand and love me for who i am

Me: “I see. that makes sense. everyone wants someone who understands them  I imagine. Sounds much more serious than your profile!”

NOTE AGAIN. his profile was funny, articulate, and made you want to meet him. DUH!

Then the next message is this:

Him:

What do you do for a living?

How long have you been on this internet dating site?

How many man have you ever meet on here?

Where are they from?

Did you broke up with them or you are still dating them?

What do you seek for in a relationship?

What sort of relationship you seek for?

What are the basic qualities you seek for in a man?

What interests you?

You ever been married?

What do you do for fun?

Do you like public intimacy?

How long have you been single?

What’s being single like?

How do you treat your man?

Why do you need a man?

Can you love this man?

What is love to you?

Would you hit your man for any reasons?

Chat soon

Take Care and remain blessed.

I hope I have Put the Questions to your satisfaction and if not bring on more.

Jake Cares

NOTE: I was going to leave it at that, but I couldn’t!

ME: “yea I don’t think this is working well. Are you kidding me?”

Him: “I don’t quite get you.”

End of story. NOTE: account deleted. this one took a little longer than 10 minutes. Maybe he was waiting for me to respond.

Do women fall for these types of messages?  I also note that every bogus email, the  “writer” says ‘am an architect’ or ‘am a widower.’ Never ‘I am.’ And really, every message I have received does this, and clearly, we will never be short of construction workers, because a very high percentage says construction under the job heading.

HACKED UPDATE

So maybe I jumped the gun. I felt violated when my profile was hacked on Plenty of fish. But now, it seems POF has come through….basically.  Though,  I still have not heard from them at all,  my sister, who has a profile on POF, emailed them on my behalf, explaining my hacked situation. She received an email including a sort of apology. More like ,”sorry for the inconvenience, “ but it is something. And they removed the Hacked profile under my user name on the dating site. She confirmed this but going onto the site and searching for my profile name, and it is gone! It took just a week, but they did it.

I do think their customer service options need major improvement, but I am glad they did something positive and took care of this issue. I wish I could find out the why and how of this hacking job, but I have to let it go. I can only speculate.

complaint

On the same note,  I have emailed OKCupid about bogus/scam emails, and they have removed those users within 5 minutes. Maybe I was spoiled. Though wouldn’t it be nice if we never had to email them at all. Just a dream.