Tag Archives: Dating

online dating

BIRTHDAYS ARE OUR FRIEND

I just had a birthday.birthday-cake-cupcakes-3title As in yesterday.  One candle for safety. Don’t want to bother the fire department.

I am only saying this because I am, at a point in my life, where I have decided it is best to go backwards in age. Oh, I really am embracing it. Nothing wrong with pretending I am a different number to ease the pain of inching up into my 60’s. I know I am not going down the Botox route or face lift route. I have decided I will embrace my age and go with it. But, doesn’t subtracting every year, sound so much more appealing? We all know time marches on, and the aging process will keep happening. Even if you get a tuck here and a tuck there, time is still marching, whether you want to see it or not.

I am chicken anyway. My fear is I would decide to eliminate some wrinkles and something would go wrong and I would be scarred for life.

Physically and mentally. I know it happens, and I also know there are thousands that have good results. But I also know that once you start, there is no stopping. And having a smooth face that doesn’t match your hands or neck, eventually looks just plain silly and so very obvious
(apologies to all who go the other route)

A friend whom I reconnected with on Facebook , who I hadn’t seen in over 35 years, asked me if I had “work done.”. I happened to be having a deck put in at the time and that is where my brain was. I thought it odd she would know about my deck, since we had only been catching up on what we had been up to for the last 30+ years. Where do you live? What have you been doing? Married? Single? Kids? It took me minutes to realize she meant my face! “Why do you ask?” , I said to her. She said , “Well you look great. I just had to ask you.” I won’t deny that made me feel really good. Then, in true form of woman to woman I checked out her pics and realized she definitely was not embracing her age, which is the same as mine. No I didn’t ask her. It was painfully obvious she had indulged….often. So I politely, and with hidden glee, said oh thanks that is so nice of you to say.

And in helping me embrace my age, a guy on a dating site started a conversation with me. He was younger, but only late in the previous decade, or so I thought. UNTIL he informed me he lied about his age, because the dating site wouldn’t let him look at older women and message them if he desired. So, subtract about 15 years from what he said, which now puts him in the previous decade, and there we have it. About a 30 year difference, which put him at just about the same age as my daughter.

I gently declined. I know I could have embraced that, but , you know, I think i am finally moving forward, and flattered as I am, 30 years is more that I can and want to deal with.

Truth is, I am hoping for many more birthdays. Many more wrinkles. And secretly, (not really) 40 year olds to keep asking.

Don’t Text and Date

http://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/film/92693422/Man-sues-date-for-texting-during-Guardians-of-the-Galaxy-Vol-2

I imagine there will be conflicting thoughts and opinions on this news story.  But really you can’t make up these things.

Suing, in my humble opinion, is not the answer.   I am sure this guy is trying to make a point and feels he has been wronged. He met her on a dating site, so let’s assume they do not know each other well. Maybe a movie isn’t your best choice then, and having dinner or drinks would have been better. Though, he may have sued her for more money if she did it during a nice dinner. And then add in the wine. He could make a killing!

Clearly, they are not on the same page. Now, being the first date, she would not know that texting in a movie theater is a major pet peeve of this guy. Unless, of course, he did mention it before they actually met.   And he, of course, would not really know her habits, annoying or otherwise. But, as a woman in her mid thirties, you have got to know that is a very annoying thing to do in a theater. It is one of my pet peeves too in case you missed this point.

I do think this guy needs to bite the bullet and realize his loss. Everyone has bad dates at some point. I think it is quite tacky to ask your date for the money back after they both realized it was not going to be a good night.

But I do agree with the annoyance of texting in a movie theater.  Excuse yourself, text your friend who is crying on the phone to you, that you are on a date, at a movie, and you will respond later.  Also, if your date asks you to stop because he is telling you it is a pet peeve of his, and makes him upset, then stop.

One news source said the guy stated she texted 20 times. The woman says it was 3.

Who know who is correct in their numbers. To him it could have seemed like 20 times  and in her head, it was just a few. Either way, don’t do it. It is annoying to your date and everyone around you.

All I could think of was the story of the guy and his wife in a movie theater who was texting home to say goodnight to his 3-year-old daughter, and someone shot and killed  him in the theater after arguing about it. And that was only during the previews, I believe. Crazy. No, you don’t know how people will react. I wish that guy and his wife had just moved their seats to watch the movie, but they didn’t. Nor did the guy with the gun.  Instead, it built up and escalated. Why did he have a gun in a theater? That is for another discussion.

Well that is ending on a depressing note.

Really, the bottom line is, I don’t like rude people either. But they are everywhere and date or otherwise, it will happen. Move on. There will be others, some rude, some not. Can’t sue every one of them, can we?

It Just looked Like I left

 

I’m here.  I am back. But in reality, I never left. I just haven’t written. Haven’t felt it.  Haven’t prowled the dating sites. I have read other blogs, been on twitter. All kept to a minimum. Haven’t responded to likes or messages, but will say I am a teeny bit glad I still have views and likes. Sometimes, life seems to move forward, and we stay still.  Sometimes, you need to do just that.

nodating

I have been somewhat inactive in the dating world. And full disclosure, not that it is directly related, in the exercise world too. That I am paying for, trying to get back on track.  Though, when you think about it, It could be related. Exercise is good for the body and soul. Makes me more energized , but I still have to force myself to do it.  I did find out one can get tennis elbow in both elbows at the same time, and never have played tennis at all. EVER. Which brings me to the lack of exercise. Needed to rest both elbows. They are rested and ready to tackle the evil elliptical again. But I digress.

exercise

My elbows have nothing to do with lack of motivation on dating sites.

Dating, even the idea of dating, got stale. As you get older, the choices change, but the stupid messages do not.

I did hear from two guys I had dated before.  Communication is good, but distance has put a damper on things.  I’m not dead.  Just took a hiatus from the rat race of dating sites. I feel a fresh look would be best. Scroll through the photos, and you see so many familiar faces you have seen before. Then I realized the men are probably saying the same thing.

Plain and simple, I get bored. Maybe it is an age thing. Maybe being single for so long, I’m just done and will wait for Prince Charming to fall into my lap. Though by then,  Prince Charming will be using a walker and will be on social security. Bottom line,  I am very content as is. Though that could be translated by some as being in a rut. Who knows the answer?  We do get complacent. Life moves forward,  things are good, so why upset the apple cart?

princech

Time will tell. Maybe when other things are back on track, I will get a new attitude and/or outlook.

Don’t worry, you will be hearing from me, whether it is to bitch about dating or other things I can find to bitch, I mean write, about. Like that is a problem.

 

Wanted: Mom, Housekeeper, or Combo

Light housekeeping, cooking skills a must, valid driver’s license and willing to drive at a moment’s notice. First guess- Classified ad?  Second guess- A Dating profile ?

A notification from the dating site buzzes on your device telling you someone has viewed your profile. Always have to look to check it out. The profile name this time was a  first name and the number 37. My experience shows he is either 37 years old, or was born in 1937.  Forty years is a big difference, but again , from my past experience, it could be either one. Secretly I hope he isn’t 78 but kind of hope he isn’t 37 either. A  bit too young even for me, though that would be flattering.  A bit too old and that would be depressing. The 78 yr old would make more sense to some people , but not me! And if I am going to date someone who has an age difference of 14+ years , I’d rather subtract those numbers  then add them!

But in this case he was definitely 37, almost 38! .  Searching for an older woman, and by that he means a mother. Most of the time a guy will tell you he is searching for older women because of their maturity,  or they aren’t necessarily looking for  commitment, and definitely not looking to snag a successful young man for marriage and children. Not this guy. Went right to cleaning and cooking.

I think an ad in his local paper for a housekeeper would work better, but I guess he has to pay for that. Why not advertise on a dating site and combine all one’s needs into a neat little package.

Explaining it would take away from the essence of his message.

What a catch. I’d like to chat with any woman that would respond to this and get her the help she needs.

Read it and weep.

Hi I’m nick 38 looking to get to know someone older wouldn’t mind moving to a different town must cook and keep a clean house,looking for someone secure that can travel goe places,I like outdoors good food movies reading send me a message if interested I currently don’t have a running car it broke down on me its not worth fixing so not able to get around that good right now

 

Dating Business

 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/business/wp/2015/04/06/online-datings-age-wars-inside-tinder-and-eharmonys-fight-for-our-love-lives/

Tinder and eHarmony. Different as night and day, yet they probably have more similarities than we think.

It is all about money.  The concept of all of us meeting the love of our lives, clearly  attracts millions of people of all ages and backgrounds. But the dating sites are making millions and now that Tinder has Tinder Plus upgrade, will be making more. Good for them. It’s a big business.

But for us, it is how we meet men or women.

As this article states, is it based on looks, like Tinder advocates? Or eHarmony where though we see a picture, we still get so much more information to help us form an opinion.

Either way, that is the first impression. I will admit, no matter the site, if I look at someone,  I am deciding then and there whether I will message them or respond to them if they message me. Though I have said before, good-looking doesn’t always mean good date!

Age plays into this big time. Tinder, though it has all ages, really is geared toward the 20’s-30’s crowd. eHarmony, as many other sites such as Match or POF, tend to attract more of a larger mix of daters.

I like to spread the wealth. A little on this site, a little on that site.  Spending a few minutes on Tinder,  I  do tend to swipe more lefts than rights! Well, really I like hitting the big red X. At least in my age group, for me,  there are always more X’s than hearts. Still it is like a train wreck. I have to look. To paraphrase  a  quote in this article from a single mother who is 41, she says she is a dried up prune on that site. (Tinder) That means I am dead and buried.

The Art of Conversation

We are all on these dating sites to meet someone. Well, I shouldn’t say all, because some are on these sites for their own reasons. People are chatty, like to start conversations. It can be quite interesting talking with guys from other countries. Even other states sometimes. Clearly, there is no commitment when you are across an ocean or two. There is always that little part of me that thinks, are they really in South Africa, or Spain, or whatever other exotic locale they have listed?  There was a guy from Ohio, wait, I should go with a limerick here. Later. He was in Akron. Not nearly as cool as Spain or the UK. So he says we should meet for coffee. I checked again on his profile and yep, it said Ohio. I am in Virginia.  I responded with, “It would be sort of hard to meet after work for coffee if we are in 2 separate states.”

His answer. “Thank you. Enjoy your day.”  I shook my head and later that day, lo and behold, his account was deleted. Gotta love these guys.

Back to the UK. A guy started chatting with me and I asked him where he was and he said Ireland. Would have been better if I could have heard the accent, but instead I imagined it. Actually I tried to imagine something else other than the picture he had posted too, which works much better if you go with the stereotypical Irish lad from many a romance novel. Dark, black flowing hair, piercing blue eyes, like the ocean of course. Anyway, I digress.

Irish man asked what I do.  I really do believe that no one really ever reads my profile.  I told him and then, being the polite person I am, asked what he does. He said he builds sets for shows and is a part-time life model for art classes. So yes, I fell into the trap.

“Oh?”, I asked. “What do you mean by life model?” Did I really ask that? I was pretty sure I knew what he meant.

“I pose for them. In the nude.” Yep. I was right. Went back to his profile photo and went REALLY? I didn’t say that to him. Art is art.

art1

He goes on to say he has been doing it for a few years. But that it took a while to get used to but he really enjoys it now. I told him that was nice for him but I could never do that.

He said you would be surprised. He said how uncomfortable he had been the first time or two , but then it was easy. Nope. I would not be surprised at all. I know me. Not going to happen.

The conversation continued about other subjects. Antiques, Ireland, travel, etc. Those extraneous subjects were short-lived. He says, “Tomorrow I am posing for a small group. About 3 people.”

I asked if the size of the group, (yes the group size) really mattered since being nude is being nude. He explained to me that a smaller group is more intimate and it will make him more nervous than posing in front of a large group.

One of his favorite jobs, he shared, was when he posed for a nursing home group. Said they were quite enthusiastic. Keep in mind this guy is 49, so to the nursing home crowd he was a youngster! He said they insisted he pose with an erection and it is very hard to pose that long with an erection without outside stimuli. But because I did not ask for details, I will assume he managed and got paid anyway.

art

The last part of the conversation before he realized I was not engaging in his erotic chat, was that he was next posing for a private individual. He was very nervous about this gig because he had not done that and he felt it would be extremely intimate. Whatever. But he did add that he so enjoys posing, especially with an erection, because he really likes that people are looking at him.

Being this had become more of a monologue on his part,  I said “to each his own” and he responded with “Indeed, good evening.” Which was my dismissal. Must have reminded him of his former girlfriend who he mentioned broke up with him because she didn’t like this particular job of posing. It really could have been his boasting and descriptions. She probably didn’t care that he did it, more that he didn’t shut up about it.

Next!

I have never experienced speed dating. I have vaguely thought about it, but have never actually made the move.  Admittingly, I have been tempted but really have only seen the process in a movie. It did sound intriguing. What could I learn in a few minutes from someone? Though, sometimes, as soon as someone opens their mouth I know that either I don’t want to hear anymore, or I’m ready for a second sentence.  I know on the dating sites I take a look at some pictures and think, “no thank you.” What would happen in person? The guy would start to sit down and I would say, “keep moving.” And in reverse, what if he said it to me? “Hey, don’t bother to sit down.”

But like online dating, you know right away, usually, if you want to message someone.  Messaging online is so much easier, or safer, than in person. No one can see you blush, or get pissed off, or disgusted And yes, it does work both ways. Basically, it is easier rejection.

speed1

I received a groupon type offer for speed dating. I clicked on it and thought I would take a look. It just explained where the event would be, how much you pay and how much you save. But then I looked at the photos. There wasn’t a person over 30. Now I know they are not going to put wrinkly, old faces on there, trying to lure you in. I get that. But, for me, being way over 30, I thought, hmmm, is everyone here just out of college and just moving out of Mom and Dad’s house? It is like the brochures for trips to a resort, or a cruise. We won’t see fat, roly poly men and women in bathing suits, lounging around the pool, or sitting atop of a horse. Nor do we want to. It was clear who they are advertising this event for. Now I know any age could go, but looking at the pictures it discouraged me right away. Maybe I need to start a speed dating for over 50. Speed dating for cougars? Speed dating for boy toys? Hey this could work!

speed

I also received an email to join SpeedDate.com. Speed dating online? I’m listening. Maybe many of you have already tried it. I’m catching up. Took me years to join the online dating crowd in general. Speedy is good.

Here it says you can message or webcam, and know right away. For me, there will be no webcam to start. I dont trust that. Who knows what will be waiting for you when you open a webcam to a perfect male stranger. Call me crazy, but that won’t be happening.

The process of elimination on speed date would be so much quicker and less painful, I would imagine. I may have to look into the site or the concept, just to see how it works, without cameras anywhere.  Maybe like Tinder. Swipe him away in a second. Move on to the next. Can it be speedier than that?

Be Patient

No secret about older women liking younger men. Celebrities do it all of the time. Well, many women date younger, but we hear about the celebrities. And of course older men with younger women is a given. But hey, why not? For whatever reasons, you are attracted to a certain type. No need to explain. You like younger. Dont worry.

No need to worry about finding that one guy that you want to date. He is out there. Maybe not now , but soon.

Always good to look at the humorous side of things.

age

Happily Ever After

A christmas Marathon of Hallmark Movies , 24 hours , all day long, from Halloween through Christmas.xmas

I will admit is is a guilty pleasure of mine.  Maybe because through all of the heartache and pleasures, it always works out in the end. The single mom gets the job and, and, not to worry, her kids have a wonderful Christmas.  And let’s not forget she always gets her man! Usually a girlfriend of the guy exists, but either she is a raging bitch, or a conniving, manipulative, after his money, kind of gal. They also switch it up a bit, and then there could be the money hungry executive who makes no time for the girlfriend, so of course she meets a gorgeous , kind hearted, altruistic guy on her way home to see her family. In some cases, he or she, just shows up at the door.

The part I have trouble dealing with, or should I say one of the parts I have trouble dealing with is, when an extremely good looking guy , or girl, ends up in someone’s home, celebrating Christmas with the family they have never laid eyes on before that day. Or maybe, as in the example below, they meet a stranger, bring them into their homes, with their children and family involved. And no one is skeptical or nervous that there is a stranger sleeping over and eating meals with them. And yes, I am aware this is fictional and on Hallmark, but no one should be that trusting. Even on TV!

In one movie, this good looking guy meets a single mom’s uncle at an airport. Of course they are flying to the same city, where this perfect stranger is invited into his niece’s palatial home, with her young son. And the airport is snowed in. Oh, she expresses a second of concern, stating emphatically, “who is this man? We don’t know anything about him.” And then he helps decorate the house, gets her into the Christmas spirit, cause her to dump the stuffy boyfriend, and yes, fall in love with him and they all live happily ever after.  happy

Then there is the one where the cute girl accidentally goes to what she thinks is her boyfriend’s family’s home. She eventually finds out it was a complete misunderstanding, and being this is the first time she was meeting them, she finds she is in the wrong house. But it is a warm loving family, and we come to find out , the boyfriend’s family are cold, stuffy and don’t like to celebrate Christmas. Oh wait, I bet you haven’t figured the next part out. She falls in love with the good looking son of this impostor family, they get married and live happily ever after.

Sensing a theme here? Wouldnt it be great if we all lived a hallmark movie? Who needs dating sites? Just go to a town filled with Christmas spirit and your soul mate will be waiting. Oh and he will be good looking, wealthy, and maybe even a prince.

It’s a good escape. I can forget all of my dating troubles and all of my everyday life troubles. Does anyone really live a “Hallmark Movie” existence? Not in my world. Wouldnt it be nice to wrap everything up in 90 minutes? Get the job you want.  Find out the ordinary man you are dating is really royalty and wants you to be his princess.

The list goes on. Same theme, some of the same Hallmark actors in each movie. Boy meets girl. Boy gets girl. All is well in the world and everyone is happy.

Dont worry. February brings the romance movie marathon on Hallmark. There is still time to fulfill your guilty pleasure. rom