The Art of Conversation

We are all on these dating sites to meet someone. Well, I shouldn’t say all, because some are on these sites for their own reasons. People are chatty, like to start conversations. It can be quite interesting talking with guys from other countries. Even other states sometimes. Clearly, there is no commitment when you are across an ocean or two. There is always that little part of me that thinks, are they really in South Africa, or Spain, or whatever other exotic locale they have listed?  There was a guy from Ohio, wait, I should go with a limerick here. Later. He was in Akron. Not nearly as cool as Spain or the UK. So he says we should meet for coffee. I checked again on his profile and yep, it said Ohio. I am in Virginia.  I responded with, “It would be sort of hard to meet after work for coffee if we are in 2 separate states.”

His answer. “Thank you. Enjoy your day.”  I shook my head and later that day, lo and behold, his account was deleted. Gotta love these guys.

Back to the UK. A guy started chatting with me and I asked him where he was and he said Ireland. Would have been better if I could have heard the accent, but instead I imagined it. Actually I tried to imagine something else other than the picture he had posted too, which works much better if you go with the stereotypical Irish lad from many a romance novel. Dark, black flowing hair, piercing blue eyes, like the ocean of course. Anyway, I digress.

Irish man asked what I do.  I really do believe that no one really ever reads my profile.  I told him and then, being the polite person I am, asked what he does. He said he builds sets for shows and is a part-time life model for art classes. So yes, I fell into the trap.

“Oh?”, I asked. “What do you mean by life model?” Did I really ask that? I was pretty sure I knew what he meant.

“I pose for them. In the nude.” Yep. I was right. Went back to his profile photo and went REALLY? I didn’t say that to him. Art is art.

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He goes on to say he has been doing it for a few years. But that it took a while to get used to but he really enjoys it now. I told him that was nice for him but I could never do that.

He said you would be surprised. He said how uncomfortable he had been the first time or two , but then it was easy. Nope. I would not be surprised at all. I know me. Not going to happen.

The conversation continued about other subjects. Antiques, Ireland, travel, etc. Those extraneous subjects were short-lived. He says, “Tomorrow I am posing for a small group. About 3 people.”

I asked if the size of the group, (yes the group size) really mattered since being nude is being nude. He explained to me that a smaller group is more intimate and it will make him more nervous than posing in front of a large group.

One of his favorite jobs, he shared, was when he posed for a nursing home group. Said they were quite enthusiastic. Keep in mind this guy is 49, so to the nursing home crowd he was a youngster! He said they insisted he pose with an erection and it is very hard to pose that long with an erection without outside stimuli. But because I did not ask for details, I will assume he managed and got paid anyway.

art

The last part of the conversation before he realized I was not engaging in his erotic chat, was that he was next posing for a private individual. He was very nervous about this gig because he had not done that and he felt it would be extremely intimate. Whatever. But he did add that he so enjoys posing, especially with an erection, because he really likes that people are looking at him.

Being this had become more of a monologue on his part,  I said “to each his own” and he responded with “Indeed, good evening.” Which was my dismissal. Must have reminded him of his former girlfriend who he mentioned broke up with him because she didn’t like this particular job of posing. It really could have been his boasting and descriptions. She probably didn’t care that he did it, more that he didn’t shut up about it.

A New Attitude

I have an attitude. This is not new for me. I always have an attitude. Sometimes it is a good attitude, positive, and optimistic. Sometimes, it is quite the opposite. Dare I say negative and pessimistic? It’s true. Lately I can’t help it and don’t want to try to turn it around. I feel like a petulant teenager that walks around with an attitude. Oh, well, I was one at some point. My mother used to use some Yiddish expression to tell me I was in a mood. Didn’t matter what language was used, I knew that!

But now at least I can admit that. When I was a teen, you could not tell me I had attitude, because it would make it worse. Actually the same thing happens now. I hate when people say CALM DOWN. I know I need to calm down but it doesn’t happen by snapping your fingers. Now I send myself to my room. Or to my cabinet to get a wine glass.

Not that I would not turn it if I could, but I realized I can’t. Not now.  Not for the lack of trying. But sometimes it lingers and sticks to your skin, and is really hard to shake off.

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I have not blogged much recently, mainly because of my attitude not being in the positive column. Part of it is from the dating experience, and part is just life being difficult. I could whine about all that is happening in my life, and probably will in a moment. And yes, it is all relative. Things that will turn around and get better, I am just not sure when. Nothing catastrophic, though at the time it seems that it is.

Let’s start with my house. I have a townhouse that has water damage. Let me put it simply. 8 months fighting with my insurance company, delay in starting work because of that. Need siding replaced and deck replaced and inside damage as well.  This began in July. Now it is March and the 12 inches of snow has finally melted away from my backyard, so MAYBE the outside work can begin.  It has been 6 weeks waiting for my new glass door to come in so it can be installed. We seem to have the domino effect working for us. Cant do this, because of A. Can’t get B and C done until A is squared away. My patience is gone. Being from NY I want things done yesterday. I don’t wait well. So 8 months has been brutal for me. Had to move out of my house for 5 weeks so the floors and drywall could get done. I am back home and hopefully things can progress. Whew, I feel better already. The people at work have been great listening to me bitch and moan for 8 months, They are probably equally ready for my house to be done too.

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Then we have the dating scene. Or lack thereof. Men can tell when you have an attitude. I can tell when I have attitude and no one seems right to me. To add to my distress, I have received no less than 20 fake user emails on OKC in the last 2 weeks. The writing is similar and then the accounts are deleted. And of course, this is not new. I have written previous posts with examples of BS flowing on the page. But they keep coming.

Just a few examples:

1.

HIM-“i live in New york and i am looking for someone who will love and care about me for a long time”

ME- sorry not what i asked. ( I had asked what he does for a living)

HIM- but now i have come to new york now dear

he says again I live in NY and wants someone to love for a long time.

but I can’t help read it as, “I love you long time” .  Either way, I responded with that isn’t what I asked, because I knew I wasn’t going to continue chatting. His answer -“now I have come to NY DEAR.” (UGH)

2.Italian but based in USA. I deal on antiques which takes me to places cos it’s a mobile job. I am a potential optimist and love to make findings and knowing new things.

3.well am new here and not sure will get on here often but I wish to have a sincere friendship and keep my new good friends in touch forever that is why I want us to get in touch by exchanging dial digits.

4.You know I was going through when I got charmed by the pretty looks in your eyes and i thought it’s wise to say hi.

You have a lovely smile on your face, that really attracted me the most and I nearly lost my breath looking deep into your eyes. I like your hair style a lot and i am just sitting here wondering what a beautiful angel like you is doing on here. Anyway we are looking and it will be my pleasure to start a conversation with a beautiful lady like you. I don’t know much about you. I will be glad to get to know each other.

appreciate and admire your intensity hope to hear from you soon Thank you very much for taking you to read

5.How are you doing on this blissful day!!…I was surfing on here and got the glimpse of your meaningful profile and with your beautiful pic caught my attention to read more.. I would like to know more about you and see where this could lead us both to…..Any way I know I is not the correct thing to give out my email but any way we can still try it out XXXXXX79@gmail.com shear more later if you like

6.Your profile really caught my interest and I have been looking and would like to know more things about you. It never hurts to try something new although it’s a just a day to the end of my subscription on this website..

How can I help but have attitude? I think I need to get in a new and improved frame of mind for anything to change. The house is moving along slowly, but moving along.  I’ll get over this hurdle and move on to the next. See. Attitude changing already.

Next!

I have never experienced speed dating. I have vaguely thought about it, but have never actually made the move.  Admittingly, I have been tempted but really have only seen the process in a movie. It did sound intriguing. What could I learn in a few minutes from someone? Though, sometimes, as soon as someone opens their mouth I know that either I don’t want to hear anymore, or I’m ready for a second sentence.  I know on the dating sites I take a look at some pictures and think, “no thank you.” What would happen in person? The guy would start to sit down and I would say, “keep moving.” And in reverse, what if he said it to me? “Hey, don’t bother to sit down.”

But like online dating, you know right away, usually, if you want to message someone.  Messaging online is so much easier, or safer, than in person. No one can see you blush, or get pissed off, or disgusted And yes, it does work both ways. Basically, it is easier rejection.

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I received a groupon type offer for speed dating. I clicked on it and thought I would take a look. It just explained where the event would be, how much you pay and how much you save. But then I looked at the photos. There wasn’t a person over 30. Now I know they are not going to put wrinkly, old faces on there, trying to lure you in. I get that. But, for me, being way over 30, I thought, hmmm, is everyone here just out of college and just moving out of Mom and Dad’s house? It is like the brochures for trips to a resort, or a cruise. We won’t see fat, roly poly men and women in bathing suits, lounging around the pool, or sitting atop of a horse. Nor do we want to. It was clear who they are advertising this event for. Now I know any age could go, but looking at the pictures it discouraged me right away. Maybe I need to start a speed dating for over 50. Speed dating for cougars? Speed dating for boy toys? Hey this could work!

speed

I also received an email to join SpeedDate.com. Speed dating online? I’m listening. Maybe many of you have already tried it. I’m catching up. Took me years to join the online dating crowd in general. Speedy is good.

Here it says you can message or webcam, and know right away. For me, there will be no webcam to start. I dont trust that. Who knows what will be waiting for you when you open a webcam to a perfect male stranger. Call me crazy, but that won’t be happening.

The process of elimination on speed date would be so much quicker and less painful, I would imagine. I may have to look into the site or the concept, just to see how it works, without cameras anywhere.  Maybe like Tinder. Swipe him away in a second. Move on to the next. Can it be speedier than that?

Be Patient

No secret about older women liking younger men. Celebrities do it all of the time. Well, many women date younger, but we hear about the celebrities. And of course older men with younger women is a given. But hey, why not? For whatever reasons, you are attracted to a certain type. No need to explain. You like younger. Dont worry.

No need to worry about finding that one guy that you want to date. He is out there. Maybe not now , but soon.

Always good to look at the humorous side of things.

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Happily Ever After

A christmas Marathon of Hallmark Movies , 24 hours , all day long, from Halloween through Christmas.xmas

I will admit is is a guilty pleasure of mine.  Maybe because through all of the heartache and pleasures, it always works out in the end. The single mom gets the job and, and, not to worry, her kids have a wonderful Christmas.  And let’s not forget she always gets her man! Usually a girlfriend of the guy exists, but either she is a raging bitch, or a conniving, manipulative, after his money, kind of gal. They also switch it up a bit, and then there could be the money hungry executive who makes no time for the girlfriend, so of course she meets a gorgeous , kind hearted, altruistic guy on her way home to see her family. In some cases, he or she, just shows up at the door.

The part I have trouble dealing with, or should I say one of the parts I have trouble dealing with is, when an extremely good looking guy , or girl, ends up in someone’s home, celebrating Christmas with the family they have never laid eyes on before that day. Or maybe, as in the example below, they meet a stranger, bring them into their homes, with their children and family involved. And no one is skeptical or nervous that there is a stranger sleeping over and eating meals with them. And yes, I am aware this is fictional and on Hallmark, but no one should be that trusting. Even on TV!

In one movie, this good looking guy meets a single mom’s uncle at an airport. Of course they are flying to the same city, where this perfect stranger is invited into his niece’s palatial home, with her young son. And the airport is snowed in. Oh, she expresses a second of concern, stating emphatically, “who is this man? We don’t know anything about him.” And then he helps decorate the house, gets her into the Christmas spirit, cause her to dump the stuffy boyfriend, and yes, fall in love with him and they all live happily ever after.  happy

Then there is the one where the cute girl accidentally goes to what she thinks is her boyfriend’s family’s home. She eventually finds out it was a complete misunderstanding, and being this is the first time she was meeting them, she finds she is in the wrong house. But it is a warm loving family, and we come to find out , the boyfriend’s family are cold, stuffy and don’t like to celebrate Christmas. Oh wait, I bet you haven’t figured the next part out. She falls in love with the good looking son of this impostor family, they get married and live happily ever after.

Sensing a theme here? Wouldnt it be great if we all lived a hallmark movie? Who needs dating sites? Just go to a town filled with Christmas spirit and your soul mate will be waiting. Oh and he will be good looking, wealthy, and maybe even a prince.

It’s a good escape. I can forget all of my dating troubles and all of my everyday life troubles. Does anyone really live a “Hallmark Movie” existence? Not in my world. Wouldnt it be nice to wrap everything up in 90 minutes? Get the job you want.  Find out the ordinary man you are dating is really royalty and wants you to be his princess.

The list goes on. Same theme, some of the same Hallmark actors in each movie. Boy meets girl. Boy gets girl. All is well in the world and everyone is happy.

Dont worry. February brings the romance movie marathon on Hallmark. There is still time to fulfill your guilty pleasure. rom

Someone for Everyone

Clearly, we are on dating sites to meet someone , date, and for some, marry. Go out, have a good time, have someone take you to dinner. Snuggle up in front of a fire and watch a movie. See what develops.   And I am convinced that there is someone for everyone. There is no accounting for whom one is attracted to, and what chemistry is involved.  You can look at a couple and say, “Wow, I don’t get it” but, you don’t have to, they are the ones who have to get it.

There is the physical attraction, the intellectual attraction ,and dare I say,  the emotional attraction that people look for in a mate. On these dating sites, physical is the one that comes up first and then the others seep into the attraction once you get into a conversation and a meeting or two.

On these dating sites, we look at pictures and keep scrolling through, and maybe one catches your eye and you stop. Check him out, send him a message.  I mentioned this in a previous blog post, An Opposite Match, for one. Chances are you stop and check out a profile because you are attracted to that person. I also mentioned before how Match, for example, was sending me matches, that didn’t have matches that I would fit in, i.e., age criteria. So I have now cancelled my Match subscription which ends in a few weeks. I have to say, I had the least amount of contacts through that site. Good riddance.

The holidays are approaching. Family gatherings, parties galore. Maybe a date for the holidays is in the cards for some, maybe not. Now it seems a surge of new applicants hoping to meet that someone before the new year have appeared.

But did I look in the prison files? What was I thinking? Charles Manson has been available all of this time , and I missed it. Though, again, I don’t think I fit his age criteria. Well there are just a few things to consider. He is  an older man, and I don’t typically go for the 80+ crowd. Secondly, he likes the under 30 crowd. Oh, and third , he is a murderer!

So I ask, why did a 26-year-old obtain a marriage license to marry him? Let’s not overlook the fact that she has been fighting for him for 9 years! Yes that would be 17 when she got this fantastic idea. Sometimes there is no accounting for attraction and dating criteria. Or maybe lack of dating criteria.

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Slump

Sports analogies are used quite often. Personally, I have never used one, because though I enjoy watching (not playing) some sports, I felt this one works.  I am not a baseball player, though making a few million every time I went to work would really be helpful. But, to be honest, I am in a slump. The definition is made for me. I am not performing up to my expectations, or anyones I would imagine,  And I am definitely in a drought. My game is off. A dry spell fits the bill.

An extended period when player or team is not performing well or up to expectations. A dry spell or drought.

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Maybe one could call it a self-imposed slump. I get messages. I get offers, though some should be called solicitations. Take this gentlemen, and I use that term loosely. Again, a man one year younger than I am, so the category is my age group. Nondescript in the looks department, average, looks like an insurance salesman. ( now don’t go taking offense all of you insurance salesman out there. I could have said accountant, or computer geek.)  He sends me a message and I respond with a friendly reply. Does he ask me to meet for a drink or a cup of coffee? Not a chance.

“Are you working?”, he askes me.

I responded and said , “Yes I am. All day.”

Then he says, Oh too bad. I thought I would come over and play.”

I respond with, “so let me get this straight. We had 3 lines of messages. Never talked. Never met. And you want to come over and play? I am not in the habit of having strange men whom I have never met come over to my home for sex.” Move on.

And may I add he was insulted and wanted to know what would be wrong with that? I should have asked him if he ever watches CSI or Law and Order.

slump

So my slump continues. I get quite a few, So and So want to meet You” notifications. Do I want to meet them? NO.  I cant agree to meet someone who looks like he lives in his mother’s basement. Or if he is holding a fish.  Even a few messages that ask to meet. But I am not in the group of women, or men, I imagine, that will meet anyone for a drink or coffee, just to have another date.  I do know women who do this.  Many tell me they are not attracted to him, but hell why not grab a drink anyway, and then tell him no for next time. I would rather stay home. I have to  be attracted visually or even, mentally, to want to got to the next step. I would not enjoy sitting there for even an hour, knowing I am only doing it to go out. Personal preference on my part.

A hitter can’t let a poor performance carry over into the next opportunity. Pouting or feeling sorry for yourself when you’re in a slump can become a habit, starting a vicious cycle that’s very hard to break.

I am definitely carrying over my slump attitude into other aspects of dating and even my life.  Of course I am having a pity party. I detect a pattern, a habit as stated above. But habits are hard to break. I’m working on it. Baseball players practice their swings in the mirror, according to what I have read about being in a slump. I dont know what I can practice in the mirror. I guess I could practice saying, ‘yes’, or ‘don’t be a dating a snob,’ but  I am not fooling anyone especially myself. I think it is more my attitude I have to change to eliminate the slump I am in. Or maybe a new dating site.

Changed My Mind

Your confidence builds. You are feeling good about yourself. Thinking, I am looking pretty good these days and you have a good feeling all around.  You even think it is safe to enter the dating scene. So you accept a date.

One Tuesday I received a pleasant message. Spoke about our common interests and background.  Thought he was a bit stiff, didn’t seem to have a light attitude or joke much, but I thought, ok, this is online. Chill out, give him a break.  We set up to meet the following Tuesday, though he did ask at first if I was free the next evening, Wednesday night. “Sorry,” I said,  “but I  have plans.” ( I really did.)

We talked on the site for a few days, and one evening wrote that he was looking forward to meeting. I concurred and said it will be fun. He  said he was going to NY to see his mom over the weekend. ( I had to assume he was telling the truth, I try not to be cynical every time)  Very briefly on the friday of that weekend we spoke and then ended with we will chat before Tuesday.

Monday comes and no word. Yep, my wonderful, reliable gut was kicking in again. I did not have a good feeling about this.  I sent him a message on the dating site and said “hi. just wanted to be sure we were still meeting up on tuesday.” I don’t feel comfortable having a plan for a week and not have confirmation.  Nothing. The next morning, which was the Tuesday of our “date”, he sends me a message that says, “I’m very sorry, but I’ve decided not to meet. Best of luck in your search for love, peace and happiness.”

I was so annoyed.  I wrote back and said “Wow nice of you to let me know before today.”

I didn’t ask why, though I really wanted to know the reasoning behind it. So many to choose from. He simply changed his mind, Maybe he met someone else and wanted to focus on her. Maybe he is simply a jerk.  I admit, he tried to write it nicely, but it was not sitting well. I was insulted that he changed his mind. I do think it is merely frustration and /or annoyance that no matter what, I can’t seem to meet someone for a mere drink!

This guy was even in my age group. If nothing else I am giving myself points for that!  He is in my decade! Could be a first. I have gone out with some very close to my decade, just short a few years. But I have realized that same decade or not, it doesn’t matter.

Sometimes you can read an article and think,  “Do they know me? Did they peek into my dating world and get some ideas? This one is about being single and frustrated. How timely! I will take a wild guess and say I am not the only one, male or female, who at times, feel this way.  I have had toxic relationships. Do I repeat the pattern? Do I pick the wrong men?  I think, unless your dating life is perfect, one of these may hit home for you, If not,  consider yourself lucky and not single and frustrated.

http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/about-you/single-and-frustrated-5-things-to-consider/?lcid=102210&laid=Links#.VEbjuxZYrZB

Feed Me A Line

Writing is not everyone’s forte. Simple lines and simple words sometimes get a message across just as easily as flowing prose or poetry.  Do cheesy lines work?

One guy actually wrote to me and said, “Did you hurt yourself when you fell from heaven?”  I thought that was just in the movies.  No. he was not joking. Sad, I know.  But if you are going to try for a line, or some phrase that may catch my eye, make it good. Check a dictionary or Google the phrase.

Read on for another installment following a  few of my previous posts, such as, Uh What Did you Say, Would You Repeat That, Parts 1-3. and  Let Me Read From You, and Other Assorted Phrases

I’m a honest, loving, bubbling man. ( so many thoughts go through my head on this one. I think Tums could help that problem. )

Good day to you, Damsel. How was your day? Reading your profile for the first time on the site so much got me intrigued and sparkles my interest a lot (I love sparkly things) sparkles

My name is William Talking about my self, I love friends and family,. (I wonder who else he could possibly be talking about.) myself

every time I look at your picture I wonder what it would have been like to make love to you for hours and hours . ( keep wondering. keep dreaming)

Beautiful is supposed to be a word that describes someone or something. Now that I met you I realize that beautiful is more than just a word. Beautiful speaks, beautiful talks, beautiful is sexy, beautiful breathes, and beautiful smiles. Beautiful is you. (must be lyrics from a song somewhere in time)beautiful

Its been very terrible searching on this site beside I’m new to this internet dating stuffs, I was introduced by a friend who recently got married and relocated to Canada. That’s why I’m giving this a try. ( let’s see, is it terrible because he is new? or did his friend just make him feel bad? Does he want to relocate ?  Pack your bags, Ms. Right!)

am captivated in you as well as your profile and i would like to hit the books to know more about you ( maybe the books can give him some better lines)books

I really admire your beauty and cute smile. I must say every single man will love to go out with you but for me I will first love to be friends with you and see where it will lead us.. What do you think? (I  have friends.  Little does he know,  married men want to go out with me too)

How are you doing today and how is your weather over there ? I’ve been trying to find some old friends, i would like to ask you LOL (old friends?  does he know I am not his old friend? on a dating site? My weather. Covered all the social media and the weather channel in one motion)

I love to drink martini Not from a glass but all other source sets of both lips etc.  How are you? I hope we can talk. U seem a nice lady (I am a nice lady. That is why I never responded to your inappropriate lines. and these lips will never meet yours)

Hi Pretty,nice profile,checking around the dating network and your profile gave me an attention, ( I love when my profile gives attention, though I am not sure what kind of attention we are talking about)

How are you this sweet lovely day.. i got up from bed to take a glass of chilled water and was going through the site when i skimmed across your profile…sorry if i am intruding your privacy but i have to confess that you have a wonderful and charming smile that kept me staring at your page… (who gets up for a glass of water, chilled or not,  and stops at his or her laptop to check on profiles on the way to the kitchen?)water

am very active and cheerful. I like positive people and a good sense of humor. As a real man I am emotional and sensual. My friends love being in my company and talk to me by hours. ( good thing he is a real man. I hate when robots message me)robot

Everybody makes mistakes and I usually give people the benefit of the doubt, but if the same pattern keeps emerging, it’s over I do not want to meet someone who may think that they will take advantage of me or lie to me and cheat on me under false pretenses. Sorry if that sounds harsh, and I’m not accusing you of any wrongdoing, but I’m being upfront and honest about that. So you know where I stand from the beginning. With all due respect as well, I hope that you are upfront and honest with me, as well. ( I am so glad I am getting a pardon from someone I never messaged or communicated with in any way)

I’m just asking you to keep it real and be honest from the beginning; that way, nobody is wasting their time or getting their feelings hurt also realize that at times two people are just too different to be in a relationship together; it doesn’t mean that it’s anybody’s fault, it’s just that they’re too different to be compatible. Was really nice written you, will be very glad if you can also write to me much and more about yourself at this manner as i wrote to you. Well hope to hear from you soon. Kisses  (keep your kisses. I don’t want them. And if I write to you in the same manner as you wrote to me, you wont know what I am saying either. So lets forget you ever messaged me.)

my name is mark i am new here just checking out some profile but yours caught my eyes, I’d like to correspond with you,if you don’t mind, to know what we have with you,if you don’t mind, ( well , Mark. Here is the deal.  I am very proud I caught both of your eyes, and not just the usual one at a time. Work on your pronouns too)

I want to meet a woman that is tolerance level ( he should know I have no tolerance level) and how far he can go in life ( we can fill in any words that may actually complete this sentence. It will be a form of Mad Libs), if he is willing to stick around when the going gets tough and he will be there for me and I will be there for her too when the going gets tough on us. If she will still love me when I am falling apart.( again PRONOUNS !  He. She. It. They. Repeat after me.) pronouns

I like your inspiring smile on your picture ,just gone through your profile and it a great deal meeting you,you really have my interest and I can’t pass with out saying Hi, you’ve got a very nice profile and it impressive,you sounds very cool, adorable,sensitive,serious and an open minded person and I will really love to meet you in person, you’ve got a very great personality with the qualities of a good woman and I’m very much interested of getting to know the deeper side of you, so if you’re interested get back to me urgent. ( guess I’d better hurry) urgent

Well am on here looking for Happiness in Long-Term from this life ( as opposed to your past life?)

How are you doing this blessed day. I really hope everything is good.. A friend of mine introduced me to this wonderful dating site and I’m very thankful to be on here. By the I’m Tony and I guess I’m new on here.. If I must confess, I really admire your smiles ( poor thing doesn’t know for sure if he is new  on here or not.  and really, I only own one smile) smiles

Am new to this place but couldn’t help myself with your beautiful smile, Am breaking out my shy shells to let you know you captured my attention and I enjoyed everything I read on your profile. ( what is a shy shell and how does one break it out? )shy

and one of my favorites-

“Wow dear” what an Surprise, honesty I must Say you have a very lovely and Beautiful simile, from a pretty face, Dear I apologize” Which I’II could be friends.

            I think we need a translator for this one.

One Swipe Says It All

I am not sure I get the whole “like you” button on OKC. Though, I think I get the concept. All the dating sites seem to have a similar feature. Match.com has a favorite button and a like button. OKC has the “he likes you” button., Sort of like Tinder does , but with a little more information. and a little more effort than a swipe. It seems to be a good starting point. Hey I like you. Maybe you will like me.  Brings me back to 6th grade, where a boy likes you, tells his friend, who then tells your friend, who then tells  you that Johnny likes you, you giggle together and exclaim how cute he is, and nothing ever happens.

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I receive  a “He Likes You” message from a member. I look at  his profile, then decide if I will like him back.  What now?  If I check it out and he seems appealing in some ways, I may hit the ‘I like you button’ as well. Here we go . We are matched up both liking one another. Then what? I have done just that . I have let him know that I too am interested.  And nothing. No follow up from him. No message. No interaction. I have also tried, if  he has “liked me” , to send a message to him.  No problem making the first move. So I write a quick message.  Do I expect a response? Yes I do. You went through the effort of looking at my profile, and  hitting ‘Like you.’ Here is my main question. You liked me, I am sending you a message, why would you not respond? Did you change your mind? Did you hit the wrong button?  Is that a feature similar to Facebook? Where you like a comment or a photo and no one expects anything after that?

My assumption is, it is a feature to help match you up with someone. He has informed me that he likes me, so therefore I would assume, (never a good idea) that he would want further contact. match

In reality, he is just letting me know and moves on.  Is it a shyness factor?  Or another  one for his plus column? I just want to let you know I like you, but I am not willing to do anything about it.

I guess Tinder comes into play again. I have matched a number of guys on there, and nothing. No message to me and no response, whether I decide to send one first, or wait for him to make the first contact. Maybe they are keeping score of how  many matches they can get. Tinder I take with a grain of salt anyway. I get the concept, but do you really want to meet someone who doesn’t even put a photo on there? That is all you are going by in the first place. One needs a starting point, don’t they?

And, by the way,  there have been times on Tinder, where I would forget, think I am swiping to look at another picture and I hit the nope or Like feature instead! Ooops. Meant to say I like you  but I hit NOPE by mistake. I am sure  he will come up in another round-up! Of course, accidentally hitting I like you , when you meant to hit NOPE, is worse. Then they may match. And back on the photo topic on Tinder, why does any guy think I, or anyone, would hit LIKE if he has no picture, no information about himself and who is to say even the age is correct?  That is a risk I am not willing to Swipe!