Not that I am paranoid, which I am, but these stories scare me. I think they should scare everyone . It is good to keep on alert, but in this case, the poor guy was just trying to have a second date. Truly, if you thought every time you communicated with someone on a dating site, this could happen, most of us would immediately stop. I say most would stop, though we always have those that think, ‘it won’t happen to me, I am always careful.’ Or ‘it won’t happen to me, they is just stuff you hear about.’

Keeping in mind, women are always told to be super careful and vigilant, which of course is sound advice.  You too men! This story  is about a man who is murdered after meeting a woman online. Everyone needs to be vigilant. Lots of bad people out there. And yes, good ones too,, but the bad ones surface far too often.

I have recently listened to the podcast, Dirty John. A fascinating true crime story, that involves, among other things,  people meeting people on dating sites. Unbeknownst to the woman involved, he is a con man, manipulator, control freak, and maybe a murderer. (you need to listen to it) . He is identified as both a sociopath and a psychopath. What a great combo. This guy has some resume of dating.  The woman in this story is well-to-do, attractive and somewhere in her 40’s or 50’s.  She falls for him hard and seems to be so desperate  for a good, loving relationship, which he makes her believe she is getting. I don’t want to get into details, because many may have not listened to this involved, crazy story, but it sure makes you wake up and think, wow, this could be anyone.

It is hard to weed out the bad apples in the bunch, but men like Dirty John, put on the facade of a great guy, fun to be around. There were red flags galore, but sadly the woman dismissed them and did not listen to the concerns of her family.

I have written other posts about red flags, which unfortunately, many men on these sites have thrown out during the getting to know phase. Getting out in time would be the key!

A friend of mine in her 30’s, dated someone she was really starting to like. She listened to the Dirty John podcast, and after the first couple of episodes ,she said “ Oh my god, they could be talking about my ex.” Made her thankful she broke it off when she did and, of course, wary of continuing online dating. I think because she recognized his behavioral traits quickly, it did not discourage her completely.

Maybe I have become cynical over the years but I would rather be safe than sorry. Just a cautionary tale to be SAFE out there!


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