It’s a Small World

I want to know why someone starts a conversation with me, I assume it is “normal”, and it goes south, almost immediately. Mid fifties, good job, lives about an hour from me. Started off with regular chatter. By the third sentence he is asking what position I like. I said, “hey rather not have this conversation.”

He apologizes for being so crude. The next day started off with a friendly good morning message.  I respond briefly, since I am at work. He then asks if I like weekend getaways and when was the last time I was with a man? What? I said,” I guess you don’t mean out for a drink? “

He laughs and says, “I am  going on a business trip and will be back Wed. Do you like to be on top?”

Somewhere I missed the segue! There is nothing matching  this question and answer period . Again, I point out that I am not getting into this conversation since we were only trying to set up a meeting, which I was quickly re-thinking. He goes on his trip, probably thinking of more out of context questions. He messages me while he is gone and said, “I like you. I think we will get along. “    Returns from his travels , now he is back in town and messages me with, “how are you? want to come to my house for dinner?”

“Gee thanks for the offer, but no. Haven’t even met yet. “

“Ok” he replied, “I understand. You will love my kisses.” Another leap.

Step back buddy. then he starts with his preferences, of what he likes and doesn’t in a partner. . so I said,” hey,  lets not go there now. IF we ever meet,” which again, I was rapidly second guessing, “we can have other conversations.”…maybe.

Get ready to leap. “ok what size shoe do you wear? “

Now I know I missed that train that just went by. But of course, I had to answer at this point.

“8 ½ why?”

“Curious”, he says. Without wondering why he is curious as to my shoe size and not my bra size, as most men want to know, I joked and said ,”and what size are you? haha”

Immediately the response is, “I am a 9, so if you are looking for a large man I am not your guy. See me naked and you will sing, ‘it’s a small world.’ “

I was glad this was only messages, because I just  burst out laughing.

I said to him, “ How does one answer that. What woman doesn’t like a large man ?”I wrote back to him. “Haha” again, keeping it light.

His response, “ so you only like large men?” I decided not to answer that, but apparently, he took my haha as of course!

I said, ” one needs to be attracted to someone and like them, and then see what happens. If this is what you are looking for I am not your man! (taking his sentence, threw a little humor in it to lighten the load) I told him, “ from sentence 2, you were only talking about sex. “

He says, “I want a friend and a lover. “

“Granted, I get that”  I said . “ That could be acceptable, but one needs to see if there is an attraction because we still haven’t met.”  Boy, I was getting tired of saying that line.

Yes I saw his picture, and we weren’t talking George Clooney., but I was going to be open minded.

Then he finally says, I dated a woman for 2 months and we finally had sex and  I wasn’t large enough.”

Well here we are. No wonder. He was traumatized and probably felt he needed to lay it all out up front before I sang ‘Its a Small World.’

I told him I agree it was hurtful what the lady said to him, and one has to see if one is attracted to someone, without worrying about shoe size.  I believe he did not like my somewhat ,not gushing ,”I cant wait to meet you,” response.  And I didn’t meet him. Lots of reasons which aren’t hard to figure out. And not just shoe size.

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