This one took about 8 days. Should I count that as a pre-relationship? Or maybe an ”ex, I havent even met you yet relationship? “
I didnt think, “ oh boy here comes another one”, until I realized there can always be a contender for another biggest loser prize. He started out as someone I thought I could plan a meet and greet, maybe even a real date with. Ha.
Enter a guy who contacted me on OKC. We chatted on the site for a few days and then graduated to speaking on the phone and texting. Conversations were interesting, telling about each other, what we enjoy , etc. We even had the New York, New Jersey thing in common, and both were living in this area. The usual get to know you stuff. He added, many times, “ Can’t wait to meet you. We will hit it off so well.”
He lived about 30 min from me, easily workable. We figured out we could meet the coming Saturday. He called me Friday night before the “date” day. We talked for a while and decided we would meet at 3 PM. Maybe a cup of coffee to start. Maybe a movie or dinner if we decided we were enjoying ourselves. Said he would call or text on Saturday to confirm. He did- not another stood up story. Well close, if you continue reading.
I get a text at noon on Saturday. Three hours before zero hour. . Keep in mind I just showered , so I can run some errands before I would be meeting him. The text says to begin, “I have some bad news.” Never a good start. So with a concerned text, I said , “Oh, is all ok?”
He replies “well last night I had a surprise date with a woman (when we spoke that previous evening he said he was meeting his buddy). What exactly is “a surprise date with a woman”? Didn’t bother to ask. He continues with “ we hit it off so well, and I am really attracted to her. I couldn’t be unfair and meet you, want to kiss you ( ummm sorry? ) and be thinking of her. It just wouldn’t be fair to you. Can we take a break?”
Where do I start? Want to kiss me? I’m thinking coffee, and he is kissing me. A break? We hadn’t even met yet. Don’t think we were quite up to needing a break from one another.
Well it had been at least 8 days of texting. Maybe that is his idea of a long term relationship. I responded. “No break needed. Move on. If you drooled over me for a week and someone turned your head that quickly, I’m good.”
First he says, “well you kind of insulted me when I first hit on you on OKC.” Hit on me? See, right there you should have said when I showed interest. “ Anyway, he goes on to say, “you said you were looking for a real man. And that was insulting.” Let’s not mention that he never brought this up in the week + we had communicated. Guess he was searching for ammunition.
Whoa! Defense counsel stepping in here. I quickly went back to my text messages, because I know I didn’t and wouldn’t say that. And don’t think I didn’t text him right back. I told him I checked the messages and here is what the exchange was.
He had said to me initially, “What are you looking for?”. (Which I find guys many times ask at some point.) So tongue in cheek, with my favorite sarcastic tone, I said “I’m looking for a man. HA.” Yes, I had even added the HA so one can quickly see that I am joking. And we had discussed NY style attitude and sarcasm. And nowhere did I say, “real man. “
What did he respond to? “Drool? That’s insulting to me . I was interested in you.”
Oh. Damn, if only I had known.