A Happy Camper

I dont camp. I don’t hike. I even made a note of that in my profile that states that I am not much of a camper or outdoorsy type of person. I added this tidbit to my profile, because there are many men out there who put these as their first 2 favorite things to do. These are my least favorite things to do. I can sit on a beach, I can walk through a park, but by then I have reached my limit. I walk,  do the elliptical, but not up a mountain or through dense brush. I am not a pris. I can get dirty with the best of them and sweat, etc. But, I am convinced no one reads the actual profiles, because camping is a big hit with some.

Why stay in a tent, when I can be in a hotel? Someone else can make my bed, that I don’t need to roll up in the morning. And , coffee is right there in my room, and a very air conditioned dining room with a lovely buffet waiting for me.

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I went camping when I first got married many years ago. I didn’t camp then, in fact, I had never been camping. I grew up in New York City. But I was newly married and figured, I will go with my husband.  HA! He is from Georgia.  Yes, the New York /Georgia is another story. We went with 3 other couples.  We got everything set up, found the bathrooms, Yes bathrooms . No woods for me!

I was upset because the zipper on the tent was broken.

“I can’t sleep in a tent with the zipper broken!” I cried. “ What about bears?”

“Bears?” my “I love to camp husband,(now EX)” said to me. “A bear will not take the time to unzip the tent door. It will rip open the canvas and come in”!

Oh that helped.

The next time I went camping with him we now had 2 children, ages 3 and 5 at the time. We, well, the royal we, He , put up the tent.  We all get in the tent to get our sleeping bags ready and he kicks over the lantern. , It shatters. Kids scream. Now I am running out of the tent with 2 small children, while he cleans up the broken glass. That was my last camping trip and that was 30 years ago.  Bed and Breakfast anyone?

5 thoughts on “A Happy Camper

  1. I don’t understand how men are so obsessed with sleeping in the outdoors. Like, what is the point??? You’re just sleeping! Why not be comfortable??

  2. This totally sounds like my parents. But anyway, I am so impressed that you were willing to try this with two small children! My kids are older than that, but I’m still frightened by the prospect. The fact that they are girls might have something to do with it. I’ve always been just a bit jealous that boys can simply pee wherever.

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