Monthly Archives: December 2013

Wink, Wink

I decided to try another dating site-  Match.com. I left the first paying site because I really batted zero on that one. Can’t say this is starting out much different, but what the hell.

They offered me a free 72 hours- of course I couldn’t  resist a deal, but  I had to pick a package to purchase, in case I didn’t opt out of it once my 3 days are up. (which I didn’t do)  So once again I did the profile thing, filled out all my details and what I am looking for-  pretty much copied and pasted from the other site, with a few amendments.

On this site you can ‘wink for free’, or IM, or message someone- pretty much the same drill on all of  the sites, in some form or another.   I did discover that one can sign up for the site, to receive matches, trying to lure you in, without actually joining. So many winks that I do receive, I  realize, are men who haven’t joined, but can wink for free. Even if one winks back, they can’t send or receive messages, so winking is the best they can do.

As I have said FRESH MEAT.   Winks galore and 4 IM’s at once- makes a girl feel good. Many were from out of state, but you can wink at me no matter where you are. You can wink back or send a message or even ignore it . That works too. I did chat with a couple of men. Oone immediately  talked about how he is looking for the woman of his dreams to marry. Wow! They move fast here! And he is a widower ready to move on.  Let me first find out what your favorite color and movie are before I start picking out china patterns. I guess it is good to be up front so women know you are serious about meeting someone, but for someone like myself, who has been single for 20+ years, he gave me the jitters!

Another guy around 30 kept sending me messages on the site- I  told him I  was not interested in meeting, A. too young, B- not interested in general. He stopped and then decided to try again a month later.  Asked if I forgot him.

“Nope. I remember who you are.”  And he said, “well will you meet me? “Sorry” I said. “Haven’t  changed my mind.”

“We can be just friends. I won’t lick you.”

WHAT? Then came the question,  “Don’t you enjoy things like that? ( much more graphic than that, but I decided to clean it up for this) I answered and said this is why I didn’t continue the first conversation and we will never meet and  by the way,  blocked him and reported him.

One guy asked for yahoo messenger and again sent me pics that did not match the pic on his profile. Guess what? He had to delete his profile because he was only using the trial.- Not the first, won’t be the last, and it could be legit, but the fake pics scream BS.

Then he messaged me again- I couldn’t resist. I said, “you do know you sent me fake photos and we already had this conversation? He said, “yes but I want you to see I  am honest.” WHAT? you sent me fake pics! I said I  just wanted to point this out to you- (said before I cant keep quiet about these things!!)

So he writes: “I just don’t understand why I should pay for Match looking for my soulmate and l  am who I say I am  I am a honest heart looking for a healthy relationship. (lack of punctuation is genuine from the original write)

Is it me or does he sound like the same guy from Nigeria who wants to put 1 million dollars in my bank account if  I would just send him some money, or maybe just become his soulmate for life. Nah.

May I See Your ID Please

Boyfriend: can you use this term when one is over 60? Is it  “manfriend” ? That sounds  just plain awkward .  And is it really a word? Gentleman caller? No. That puts us back in the 19th century. So can we use boyfriend? Technically, the gentleman would not be a boy or is that getting too literal?  Male friend? not really, because one can have a friend who is a male . So male friend wouldn’t necessarily transfer to being a boyfriend. Well if he is young enough, and could be  considered a boy toy, then maybe boyfriend fits. But then again , if it is a boy toy, he is clearly not a boyfriend.

One of the free dating sites has made some changes. A message was sent to all members of Plenty of Fish. Apparently there were too many “hookups”, people trolling for sex. The site wants it to be a relationship site, not a hookup site. Agreed. That is why most people get on this site, I assume,  to find a relationship, of sorts. Who am I kidding, plenty get on sites to troll for sex too. Doesn’t matter if it is a free site or a paid site.  They have now created an age limit. No one can contact anyone who is 14 years older or younger than he or she is.   The way the site worded it, was , “Why should a 50 year old man be looking for an 18 year old?” In this case, yes I agree. That is just creepy to me. And there are exceptions to any rule.  Intellectually , I understand this.   But , when I think about it, we are all adults on this site. Yes, there are sites created for hookups. But, what I say is, if you get a message or offer, that you don’t like, simply ignore it, delete it, or block it. I have done all 3 of these things, and then I move on. I even complained more than once about a member and he was deleted. My point is, if anyone likes the attention of a younger member or an older member , who is to say you can’t contact one another. I have mixed feelings about this new rule, because as I said, as a grown woman, I want to make my own choice as to whom I want to contact.

What I have encountered is some of the younger members, men in their 20’s -30’s  , even some in their 40’s, go on this site and lie about their age. Anyone can put in any age and lie.  Some write in their profiles, “I like older women so please contact me.” It is clear from their photos, they are nowhere near age 50+.

One guy contacted me who was 40 and said, “There is a new rule stating you can’t be so much younger so I am lying and saying I am 56, so I can contact older women because that is what I prefer. “ I have also received a message from a guy in his 30’s , pretty much saying the same thing. It is really funny to see a picture of a much younger guy,  and the profile says 56, or 60.  More power to them. Of course, one could argue that there are other sites that you can be any age and contact anyone, but isn’t it more fun for them to lie and try to fool everyone? To each his own. If I dont want to talk to them for whatever reason, I don’t respond, no matter what age.

And the Prize Goes to…….

This one is pretty close to winning the prize for the biggest asshole on a site.

 

He starts out asking how I like my martinis, since my name on the site is related to that. So I answer, “Dry, shaken not stirred.” Old line, still usable.

He responds with “on the rocks.” and adds,

“I’m attracted to older Jewish women.”  Being playful, I ask, “oh why is that?”

He comes back with “ I’ve had really great experiences.”

Then I ask, “Were you married to one? “ Quick response “NEVER.” But then added that he had experiences with Jewish women that were amazing. He has been married before for 7 years, but to a non-Jew.

He continues saying he himself is Jewish, but, he has been involved with non-Jews for the most part, but the two relationships he had with older Jewish women were so memorable. Then goes on to say he was not attracted to either of them but the sex was “off the charts.”

He explains that since he likes older women, and I prefer younger men, ( he is in his early 50’s) that if I want a lover, he would like to meet.  That he would want sex a few times a week and hang out. But, something I need to understand, “it would revolve around sex for the most part, but we need to be able to “talk and stuff.”

I respond with the fact that l am not really looking for just that.  He asks if I ever come into Maryland ( side note I am in a neighboring state) so he could buy me beer or a glass of wine. Then adds, “Do you like to be in charge?” “Oh, and what is your name?”

Need to establish we actually know each other now, I guess.

 

Responding, I tell him I drive to Maryland on occasion to see friends, figuring out his thought process. Little did he know I wasn’t going to be driving to see him.

He returns with, “I don’t mind driving to VA but wouldn’t want to waste the drive without a rendezvous. Think about what you might want to do.”

 

At this point I realize there is no way in hell I would consider seeing this man. Now I am pissed off even more, so I tell him “If you think you are “wasting” your time , don’t meet me. I don’t plan on meeting you, and not going to hop into bed. You may want to keep looking for that special someone.”

His answer to me,

“yup. not wasting the drive out.”

 

Well now he has managed to get me beyond annoyed, but instead of dropping the conversation, I need to end it. It’s really a bad habit. So I tell him I get plenty of offers from men on these sites who actually “waste their time to meet me.”

And apparently, thinking meet and greets are a waste of time , he ends the conversation with

“Whore away granny.” I wasn’t about to explain anything to this moron.

 

No one likes to be told NO. And yes, he was reported and blocked. Mostly because I was pissed off and he was an ass.

You’re Such a Doll

I met a man on one of these sites, that I thought , this is the type of man I should be dating. And what I mean, is that he was somewhat close to my age, has a good job, established, grown kids, etc. And don’t worry, he was 6 years younger, which still qualifies him as younger. We got along pretty well with messages on the site and then phone calls too.

We arranged to meet for a drink and met halfway between our homes. It went well and we actually extended it to dinner.  The date lasted about 4 hours, which I thought unusual for an initial meet and greet.  Ended the evening with him saying, “I really enjoyed myself and we should do this again soon.”

I agreed and said yes let’s plan for that. Well a week or so later I had a trip planned  to the west coast for about a week.  The plan was to meet for date # 2 before I left for my trip. Well that didn’t pan out- claimed he wasn’t feeling well (always question those claims ). We decided let’s wait till I return.  We texted some while I was away and I sent him a message that I was home. Now he was going away that weekend, so again we said when you come back we will meet for date # 2. Need I tell you the ending to this?  We texted some, spoke on the phone and he again stated, “we need to meet again soon, I had such a good time with you.”

“Okay”, I said, “when?”

His reply, “lets see what happens this coming weekend.”  Not a particularly committed statement in my book.

Well apparently, something happened, but it didn’t involve me. I got a text wishing me a happy mothers day (yes it was May at the time) and  I responded with “thank you”. And that was that. Not a peep.

I really don’t get it.  Was I being hasty? Am I expecting he should have called? Yes he should have. Chalk up another one. Funny thing, I mentioned I was thinking of starting a blog about dating, and he said, “uh oh! are you going to include me?”

“ Who knows! If you give me material I will.”

Lucky him not calling me, I have made him a star.

I did see him on the site at times.  I decided to be bold and I texted him to ask, out of curiosity, why he changed his mind. He answered saying  that I was a doll, but I had too many other commitments. He wished me luck,  I guess keeping busy, having a job, seeing family and friends ,as opposed to waiting by the phone to see if he is going to call, is not what he expected.  I sent him one last message back ( have to get the last word in) and said yes, I do like to keep busy and damn straight I am a doll.  

Moving on.