Maybe Next Time

There are times I realize I need to face reality. Yes, it is fun chatting with various men on the dating sites . Things get very interesting. People lead diverse lives, have different beliefs, and live in different areas. And of course they come in all sizes,  shapes, and ages. We do know I lean towards the younger group, but as I have said before, younger is quite relative. I have chatted with quite a few in my age range. There are those who, right up front, say I am not looking for any commitment.  See you when I see you, but do our own thing. HMMM exactly what does that mean? Yes, it means go out sometimes, or as we like to call it, friends with benefits. Not to be tied down with one woman, expectations won’t be an issue, and all in all just have fun. Well there is not necessarily anything wrong with that. Not everyone is looking for marriage, or long term commitments. There is something to say about going out and enjoying yourself. 

Yes I met a man who did just that. And I will add, just 3 years younger than I am.  Nice conversation online and even on the phone. “Lets meet” he said . “We need to get the initial meet and greet out of the way.”  Well we tried. Or I tried. The first time we set something up,  he cancelled because he was too tired after a days work. I  get that to a point,  but, I said ,” we are only meeting for a short time to meet face to face. So let’s get a quick cup of coffee and get it done.” I guess he meant he was just too tired to make an effort. We did chat a bit online that evening but I did not meet him. I did mention that we could meet up after  work the next day, again a quick meeting . We did end up doing that and it went okay. We seem to get along and conversation moved along as it should. Though he was tired, and made a point of telling me. Next morning I had a message, indicating, or really saying, well if you invite me over next time I will say yes.  Yes he was one that had said up front, no commitment needed, but he comes with benefits. I did respond with a non committal answer, so no confused message would be sent to him. I did not invite him , as he wished, but  told him to have a good day and well, nothing since then.  Granted, I was giving off the” I am not into you” vibe and I am sure  he picked that up. It was pretty clear. Arms folded, not a lot of eye contact.  You see, I mentioned the conversation was pretty good…. mostly. He did mention quite a few aches and pains, and said how nice it is to meet someone around his age so I would understand his ailments. Wait, I wasn’t signing up for this. Coffee. Yes. Not a medical screening. 

What really bothered me was that in person, he was a far cry from the pictures presented on the site. There he was all trim and fit, nice suit, unwrinkled face. but not in person! No sir. Turkey neck, wrinkles galore, badly dyed blonde hair, and jeans worn 3 inches above his waist.  Sort of looked like a before and after photo of someone after age progression has been done.

Match your photos. Put current ones up on these sites This way, when one meets someone, they are not taken aback. I sit there , while I am quietly sipping my coffee or wine, thinking, did you think I wouldn’t notice you are 10 years older that  what you have on your profile pictures, or 20 pounds heavier? It wouldn’t be an issue, if I knew that is who I was meeting. Well maybe sometimes it would be. Maybe they hope that once they have you trapped in a coffee shop, with nowhere to run you will not notice. Don’t think so.

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