Monthly Archives: October 2013

What Should I Wear?

The question is never far from our minds. What should I wear on the first date?  Of course, where we go for our first date should play into the decision. A cup of coffee, a drink, dinner, walk in the park?  But now what color this new outfit should be, seems to be part of the decision.   See what you think. Glad red is my favorite color!

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2474864/Want-boyfriend-Wear-red-avoid-yellow-date.html?ITO=1490&ns_mchannel=rss&ns_campaign=1490

 

 

Can’t Make This Stuff Up

I am amazed sometimes at the audacity of some of these men on the dating sites. Here is this man, from Canada, who is chatting with me.  After a few minutes of chatting, I  finally looked at  his profile. It says he is 46 and  his status is  “living together.” You have a girlfriend? “Well, ”, he says “No actually I am married”. Well ok, that is usually living with someone. Maybe that is why he put ‘wants to date but nothing serious!’   Then he says, oh I am 43. I don’t know why I said 46. I politely tell him probably the same reason you said living together and you are actually married. And instead of worrying about what you should have written, maybe you ought to consider not being on a dating site. He got annoyed with me because I was , as he said, “blasting him.”

 

A very unique man in his mid thirties, sent me a message. I say unique because, first, he states in his profile , he is neither single or looking. Then he writes that he is simply searching  for a woman to please between the ages of 50 and 70.  Oh yes he threw in conversation and laughter, but  keeping it straight, he is just there at your beckon call.

He is looking for a mature woman, and clearly states he knows he makes more money than anyone responding, so it  is clear that he is not looking for a woman of means. In his message to me, he refers to himself as a mere mortal, and how can he even imagine being with a goddess like myself. Well that may just become my new title- goddess of dating. Has a ring to it.

A friend of mine,  also on Plenty of Fish,   went out with an older gentleman to an Itlalian restaurant for  dinner on their first date.  When I asked how the dinner went, she said , I was so busy wondering if his toupee was going to fall into his pasta , that I couldn’t  focus on the food or conversation. After I caught my breath from laughing, she said that though the toupee stayed in place, she watched his teeth moving back and forth when he spoke. I wouldn’t have gotten past the appetizer.

 

Another date  she  went on, told her he was 69, a couple of years older than my friend.  As most of us know , one can easily check online with minimal information on most anyone. Said he was divorced and his wife had died shortly after the divorce. So I decided to look him up. Lo and behold he was 74 and his wife was very much alive and living in Florida.  Never determined why the lies- what was it going to get him? Sympathy?  When one is a teenager , and wants to drink, they lie, and say he or she is 21. When one is approaching 50 , and looks good, maybe shave off a year or two. But at 74, is it not time to stop lying about your age and pretending your wife, or ex-wife is dead? That won’t get you points with anyone.

Is There a Formula for Love?

An interesting article from the Washington Post discussing  online dating and  how sites match up people. It includes formulas, logarithms, and love! Does it work? Does it make sense? You decide.

 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/business/on-it/this-matchmaker-thought-he-could-find-love-without-an-algorithm-he-was-wrong/2013/10/20/1019638e-35ca-11e3-80c6-7e6dd8d22d8f_story.html

 

 

 

Maybe Next Time

There are times I realize I need to face reality. Yes, it is fun chatting with various men on the dating sites . Things get very interesting. People lead diverse lives, have different beliefs, and live in different areas. And of course they come in all sizes,  shapes, and ages. We do know I lean towards the younger group, but as I have said before, younger is quite relative. I have chatted with quite a few in my age range. There are those who, right up front, say I am not looking for any commitment.  See you when I see you, but do our own thing. HMMM exactly what does that mean? Yes, it means go out sometimes, or as we like to call it, friends with benefits. Not to be tied down with one woman, expectations won’t be an issue, and all in all just have fun. Well there is not necessarily anything wrong with that. Not everyone is looking for marriage, or long term commitments. There is something to say about going out and enjoying yourself. 

Yes I met a man who did just that. And I will add, just 3 years younger than I am.  Nice conversation online and even on the phone. “Lets meet” he said . “We need to get the initial meet and greet out of the way.”  Well we tried. Or I tried. The first time we set something up,  he cancelled because he was too tired after a days work. I  get that to a point,  but, I said ,” we are only meeting for a short time to meet face to face. So let’s get a quick cup of coffee and get it done.” I guess he meant he was just too tired to make an effort. We did chat a bit online that evening but I did not meet him. I did mention that we could meet up after  work the next day, again a quick meeting . We did end up doing that and it went okay. We seem to get along and conversation moved along as it should. Though he was tired, and made a point of telling me. Next morning I had a message, indicating, or really saying, well if you invite me over next time I will say yes.  Yes he was one that had said up front, no commitment needed, but he comes with benefits. I did respond with a non committal answer, so no confused message would be sent to him. I did not invite him , as he wished, but  told him to have a good day and well, nothing since then.  Granted, I was giving off the” I am not into you” vibe and I am sure  he picked that up. It was pretty clear. Arms folded, not a lot of eye contact.  You see, I mentioned the conversation was pretty good…. mostly. He did mention quite a few aches and pains, and said how nice it is to meet someone around his age so I would understand his ailments. Wait, I wasn’t signing up for this. Coffee. Yes. Not a medical screening. 

What really bothered me was that in person, he was a far cry from the pictures presented on the site. There he was all trim and fit, nice suit, unwrinkled face. but not in person! No sir. Turkey neck, wrinkles galore, badly dyed blonde hair, and jeans worn 3 inches above his waist.  Sort of looked like a before and after photo of someone after age progression has been done.

Match your photos. Put current ones up on these sites This way, when one meets someone, they are not taken aback. I sit there , while I am quietly sipping my coffee or wine, thinking, did you think I wouldn’t notice you are 10 years older that  what you have on your profile pictures, or 20 pounds heavier? It wouldn’t be an issue, if I knew that is who I was meeting. Well maybe sometimes it would be. Maybe they hope that once they have you trapped in a coffee shop, with nowhere to run you will not notice. Don’t think so.

Wanna Fight?

 I bet someone, at some point, had at least one of these.  Whether it is with a husband,  ex-significant other , or boyfriend.

Read on- What do you think?

http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/20-fights-had-absolutely-every-couple-earth-171700653.html

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationship-advice/stop-a-fight-with-your-boyfriend?link=emb&dom=yah_life&src=syn&con=blog_cosmo&mag=cos

 

Moms , Dating, Crazies, oh my!

It seems that many of us have similar experiences , which is not surprising.  Though this is written by a woman’s offspring, it is nice to know he is looking out for his Mom and knows there are crazies out there. See, it is not just me that they find!  Hopefully women will be aware of this and not let it get too far. But, it also shows that many of us are not afraid to get out there and see what is outside our 4 walls!

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/06/booming/when-moms-clicks-lead-to-love-first.html?smid=tw-nytimes&_r=1&

Around the World in 36 Hours

3 men contacted me within a 36 hour period. Here are their brief stories.

First candidate is a guy from Florida. Nice looking man, says hello, would I like to chat? Sure, why not.  I ask where he lives and he says, South Beach near the water- What is your favorite color?

Am I not following this?  So far,  I  figured out,  yes, the beach is definitely near the water.  He continues with “the beach is beautiful.. I love laying in the sun, swimming in the Ocean, walking in the sand, love the way the sand feels on my feet, looking for shells, sunsets, sunrises and making love on the beach..i wish you will be my company”? I am still working on the leap to what my favorite color is and now he wants my company. I ask why he wants my favorite color and he says to get to know you better. I would go with other pertinent  information , but then again, I am not sure I would be chatting about making love on the beach just yet either.

I ask what he does for a living and he says a general contractor. Generic enough. I can go with that.  Then I ask if he works in Miami  and he says he is from Germany and works in Ghana! What happened to Miami and all of the lovely beaches and warm sand?

i am deciding do I prolong this or just not answer? He then says send me your email because I have lost my account! Remember the red flags from previous  posts? Didn’t have to think about prolonging anything.  Don’t worry, I didn’t answer, and my German who is in  Ghana , dreaming of the beaches in Miami  love interest, has sailed away.

At the same time, I received a message from a gentleman- no that is wrong- you’ll see why. A guy in Australia, who by the way, he says,  is on an oil rig in Singapore. I can’t make  this up really.  Though he did have pics of the oil rig so either he did an image search on Google or he is really there.  We had a nice conversation to begin with- what do you do-you are so attractive- what is your email ?  I  gave him one I use for this  purpose, ( No,  I didn’t share this email with my beachcomber in Ghana- just  a gut feeling, which I should have extended to my Australian in Singapore) and he sent me more pics of the oil rig and one of him. He says I hope you are not offended- why would an oil rig offend me?  So I  opened the last pic and it was clearly a penis and not an oil rig. I do know the difference – this was my first oil rig pic.

The last third of this trilogy was a young 33 year old , married, happily, he informed me, but is always looking for a fling. His word not mine. He explained that his wife knows about his extra fun, but not that he is on a dating site. We have to have some private things, don’t we?  He has no idea why she is understanding of this, but says, as long as she doesn’t hear about his escapades, it works .  His profile clearly states all of this. No secrets with him. Oh unless you are the wife. Darn. Passed up another one.

Does This Make Me Look Fat?

What to wear on a date? always something to think about , which of course depends on where you are going, and with whom. Common sense? That doesnt always kick in when needed.  I think we all have had some experiences where we wanted to ask our date to go home and change. Maybe he or she was thinking the same thing.

http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/relationships/ugg-boots-345579.html